Written by Esther Estelle
He knew he was in big trouble and immediately introduced me to his “drinking partners”,
“Mr. M, you’ve met Shontelle too many times so you don’t need any introductions. Mr. Tino and Mr. Bill, meet our esteemed Celebrity PR, the backbone of this company”
Awwwww, I hoped my blushy red face wasn’t obvious because I still needed my kick-ass face on. But really, my boss had to be the best in the planet. He didn’t know what I’d been through in the past 6 hours but he just had to look at my face and he knew what to say to make me happy.
“Hello Mr. Bill, hello Mr. Tino, it’s a pleasure meeting you both”. I didn’t bother exchanging pleasantries with Mr. M talk more of shaking him because I knew the pervert would only do something stupid that will probably ruin my mood good spoil.
As the meeting proceeded, I’m pretty sure I zoned out a couple of times although I didn’t realise until I felt my boss tapping me. Then he said, “Pardon her, she’s been up and about since 4:30am and I’m sure she has more business to take care of which is probably what’s getting her distracted”.
Mr. M smiled, winked at me and said “Perhaps a glass of wine would bring the attention back. Hahahahaha!!” I almost hissed at him, but then I’d ruin the fake smile I had plastered on my face, besides every other person in the room but me was laughing so why ruin it. As I got up to get a glass of juice from the fridge instead of his proposed wine, I could feel eyes following the sway of my bum, and I was sure it was Mr. M’s, so I added a lil sashay to it winks
Gawd!! I really needed to lighten up. I knew I’d have to get an excuse ready for my boss as explanation for my grumpiness after the meeting, that’s if he didn’t send me on another assignment as punishment. When I got back in, the meeting was over and had been postponed to next week, as Mr. Bill had another meeting he had to rush to.
Thank God. I had to escape as fast as I could to catch the much needed sleep.
“Miss! Not so fast!” My boss had caught me…
“Let the lecture begin” I muttered as I turned to meet him.
“Shontelle, I might not tell you enough, but you know you’re one of the best things that has happened to this company in 3 yrs right?” The big voice in my head screamed, “Prepare for the tongue-lashing after the praise”.
“I know that sometimes the working conditions may not be conducive but I’m sure you know what you signed up for from the beginning. But you can’t keep slipping and making little mistakes or losing your attention span especially at meetings like this.” he continued, “So my wife says you need to unwind, how about dinner with my family, then you can lay it on me?” He said like a concerned uncle.
Wow!! I’d kill for some home-cooked meal right now and Mrs. Smith was a wonderful cook, but today I really wanted to be alone, listen to all my Adele songs over a bowl of ice cream and drop that much needed rant. But nobody could find out about that so I had to think of the best lie to decline this offer.
“Sir, thank you and I’m very sorry for my slips today. I didn’t wake up in a new bugatti like I dreamt but I promise to make it all up. I would love to come by for dinner but I already promised my dad I’d be with him today”, I lied.
“Alright dear, see you on Monday morning bright, early and ready”, he patted my head and walked off.
If I knew Mr Smith well enough, I was sure he’d call me later to make sure I was really with my dad. There was no escaping this one, I had to call Da-da.
“Hey Pops! Care if I crash your party tonight?” I said immediately Da-da picked up his phone.
“Good afternoon to you too, my daughter. My day went well, thanks for asking.” he replied sarcastically. I groaned, why did he wake up mushy today and I didn’t?
“Hey Pops! Good afternoon sir! How did your day go? Now do you mind answering my question Daddy? Please!” He laughed and replied,
“The more, the merrier baby as long as you are on your best behaviour”
“Daddy! But you didn’t train me to be on my best behaviour especially when I’m crashing people’s parties.”
“Yea baby, I think you should have followed your mother and allowed your kid bro stay behind. At least I’d have trained him to be one of the biggest play boys in Lagos. Now these skills of mine are going to the grave with me.”
“Awwwww Daddy, I’m sorry I disappoint you. But for tonight, you’d have to put up with my bad behaviour which I obviously inherited from you. ” I was teasing him and I was sure enjoying it as it lightened my mood faster than I expected.
“Oh Kamso! You break an old man’s heart so mercilessly” he faked a sniffle and then burst out laughing.
“So Play Boy! Which of the girlfriends are we taking out today, or do I get to meet a new one today? I think I should start calling them Mum, don’t you think so?” I teased.
“You haven’t met this one, and I know you will love her. She’s tall, slender, lightskinned and mixed heritage, Cuban American I think. I met her in Brazil last month.” he gushed on and on.
“Alright, where are you taking her to so I can dress inappropriately to annoy her. Are you going to pick me up or do I meet you guys up? Do you want me to be the loyal, puppy-eyed, obedient daughter? Or are we going for rebellious and disobedient? ” I was getting the kick of this I must confess.
“Kamso! Where did I ever go wrong with you this child?” he screamed in mock surprise.
“Hey Pops! What happened to TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS; breaking hearts together?” I replied.
“Just be good and dress up whichever way you want as long as you look good and remind of your mother’s gorgeousness which you inherited. Catch you later baby.” he said and hung up.
I felt lighter and my mood was nowhere near sour anymore. The things Barr. (Sir) Jonathan Chiwendu Eze did to me. My 52 year old dad had met my mom, Engr. Mrs. Elizabeth Okonkwo, 27 years ago when he was 25 and she was 23.
They said it had been love at first sight and they became inseparable immediately afterwards. They were both what my mom calls “spoilt brats” but my dad would rather describe as “privileged” and they had it all at their disposals. Not too long after my mom rounded off her masters programme, she was pregnant and they did the “right thing” and got married.
They soon found out that they were both too immature to be married and the fighting became constant. They both endured enough for 5years to have my kid bro, Jayden Kosisochukwu Eze, and I before the separation, which was thankfully not messy. Right from when I was born, I was my dad’s pal, maybe cos I looked like a copy of my mom, but we were inseparable so it was only natural that I chose to stay with him after the separation when we were asked, and mom had taken Jay with her.
We had joint dinners every weekend after the divorce was final for 5 years until mom announced she was getting remarried, so we reduced it to 2 weekends a month. Dad refused to remarry, and he confessed to Jay that he still carries a torch for mom. He went round women like I did clothes. I can’t remember how many girlfriends I’ve met or heard about, I stopped counting at 10 and I was just 12 then.
I could go on and on about my family, but then I wouldn’t catch my much needed sleep or drop the promised rant. I didn’t feel so bad anymore, so Adele would be out of the picture, I could do pop or soft rock while I write the rant, but that would be after I woke up.
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