Federal Republic of Lily: How Should I know? (Screenplay)[18+]

A show about a talented creative artist, Lily and the women in her world, mostly close friends, married and unmarried but she is quite different, she does as she pleases. She has sort of lost her moral compass or takes liberty with them once in a while.

Pilot Episode 

The scene opens with a mockumentary that has Lily sitting on a couch, confused, disappointed, and ignorant. She has the look of someone being blamed for everyone’s problem.

After making several confusing facial gestures, she says, How exactly is this my fault.

On the screen; Several hours earlier.

[This scene opens with background music of Bez’ You suppose know, upbeat]

The scene opens with Lily’s studio, one of the rooms in her house has been converted to her art studio, the camera pans across the room showing us finished and unfinished arts she is working on.

She is currently finishing off a piece, camera comes from behind to show us a big afro lady wearing distressed dungaree, she smudges the brush across the canvas, her full attention is on what she is working on, her phone on the table beside her painting board.

[As the Camera pans around the room, info about Lily comes on the screen.

Lily Odogwu

• Crazy person but a great friend

• Feminist & Manist at the same time

• All around fun lady to be with

• Loose moral compass especially with her sexuality]

The camera then arrives at her face up close, a beautiful lady despite paint smeared around some parts of her arm. Her phone keeps buzzing but she isn’t looking at it. She is focused on her painting, to be done with it and get her balance payment.

Oh shit! She screamed, grabbing a rag and wiping her hands of the paint stain on her hands and arms, she just realized why her phone has been buzzing. No call came in from the phone, just a series of messages and she could tell who it was from.

Nike Of course! it had to be Nike. She wants to see a movie with her. Gazing at the wall clock behind her, she finds out she will be late if she doesn’t change immediately. She dashes into her bedroom, went superhero speed to emerge in denim and a tank-top and neatly packed afro, looking beautiful and effortlessly sexy.

She drove like a maniac to IMAX from her 4th roundabout apartment, swerving lanes like a danfo driver. She arrived late for the movie, grabbed her handbag, and ran into the place.

As she settled into her seat in front of the cinema, she opened her bag to fish out her phone that she carelessly tossed into her bag as she was rushing out of the house. She pressed the button and the screen refused to come back to life.

Battery run out! She sighed.

She didn’t have time to buy popcorn, and she looked around the cinema in the dark trying to locate Nike but she couldn’t find her either. All hope of locating Nike is lost at least for now. It was Lily’s movie anyway, Nike was the one barging and wanted to join her.

With no popcorn or drink, and dead battery. The Nike search would have to come after the movie is over. Her attention switched back to the movie that was playing on the giant screen ahead.

A few moments later, someone arrived by her side, she couldn’t see him due to the low light in the cinema but he definitely smelled nice. He says Hello, which she replied, Hi.

He also came into the movie without popcorn or a drink, he looked at Lily and asked

“Would you like popcorn and a drink? Movies are much more fun with those than without!”

Lily: Sure why not! I couldn’t get one while I was rushing so I dont miss any part of this movie.

Stranger: I thought so too, I’ll be right back.

He stood up and walked to the confectionery stand, Lily told herself, he speaks well, she re-arranged her top to make sure some cleavage was visible. She loved how big her boobs were and how people got lost looking at them rather than her face. She once told a guy “My face is here”, pointing to her face.

He came back into the cinema with popcorn and drinks for both of them. Lily thanked him and then continued the movie, they both sat in silence as they watched their movie.

As the Logan movie ended, they both walked out of the movie with the stranger speaking to her first,

“It was an okay movie, wasn’t it?” He asked

Lily: I guess! I don’t know what to expect, but everyone hyped it so much.

Stranger: That’s my problem with the movie. The Wedding Party is still a better movie than this

Lily: Proudly Nigerian!

Stranger: Sure but it was just an average movie. Nothing more

Lily: Perhaps, everyone is raving about it because it’s the last time Hugh Jackman will play Wolverine.

Stranger: You’ve got a point there, maybe

They continued their discussion in the lobby, before the stranger asked them to maybe sit and talk for a while. She agreed.

Stranger: Who do you think should play Wolverine next

Lily: I like Tom Hardy as Bane, I think he’ll do it well

Stranger: I think I agree with you, he’s a great actor. I thought you would have said The Rock or Ryan Reynolds

Lily gave him a questionable look.

Stranger: Sorry, I’ve forgotten Ryan Reynolds already plays Deadpool, which was another great movie!

Lily: I love Deadpool! I watched it so much. It was my treat whenever I finished any painting.

Stranger: Painting?

Lily: Yea, I’m an artist.

Stranger: That’s cool. Never had an artist friend, Nice to meet you Ms or Mrs …?

Lily: That’s how you ask about my name? Lame!

She said laughing

Stranger: I’m sorry I was born without game, It can get worse when I try harder.

Lily: What a shame! I feel bad for ya, son!

Stranger: Not everyone can be like you. I mean you’ve got some much class that you’re a school.

Lily: Wow! I thought you couldn’t go lower.

Stranger: I told you. I amaze myself most times when how uncool I can be.

Lily: Quoting D’banj has got to be a new cool!

Stranger: That would have been a hit pick-up line 5 years ago or something.

Lily: You know!

She said agreeing with him

Stranger: My name is Ayomide, I’m a marketing manager.

Lily: I’m Lily Odogwu, nice to meet you.

Ayomide: Do you have a bit of time to kill?

Lily: What do you have in mind? It depends.

Ayomide: How about some ice cream at Coldstone?

Lily: Not a bad idea.

Ayomide: How about we roll in the same car then I can bring you back here when we’re done?

Lily: Sure!

Lily moved her car into the IMAX parking lot and joined Ayomide in his car.

Ayomide: Tell me how this artist lifestyle works exactly

Lily: How it works how?

Ayomide: It’s not a 9-5, it’s more flexible.

Lily: Absolutely, I work based on the jobs that have been commissioned, I have a studio in my house when I do all sorts of work. I work round the clock unlike you it’s just 9 to 5.

I can get home, and begin working, it’s not time-limited.

Ayomide: Sounds interesting! How long have you been doing this?

Lily: I have been doing this for a while now since I was in school. I do all sorts of creative stuff, photography, videography, paintings.

Ayomide: Nice, really a creative package I see!

Lily: So, when you and your girlfriend want to get married, I can do all that for you. Even your pre-wedding stuff.

Ayomide: That’s a long shot, I just broke up with my girlfriend so, that’s probably on hold right now.

Lily: I’m so sorry to hear that. Wanna talk about it?

Ayomide: Maybe some other time.

They bought the ice cream, and sat down and spoke more about Ayomide’s work

Lily: So, have you always wanted to be a marketing manager?

Ayomide: Hells No! I just wanted to have more money than I could spend.

Lily: And you figured selling a lot of a product can get you there faster?

They both laughed.

Ayomide: But I have dabbled in all sorts. By dabbling, I mean have different careers.

Lily: I was going to ask because you know dabbled in Nigerian Lingo might mean something illegal or even ritualistic. 

Ayomide: I know right!

Ayomide: My initial training was in computer technology but I got moved around a lot during the span of my career. I worked with a web designing outfit then a full-blown agency, later on, I became an Interactive Specialist, then became Digital Analyst then Media Manager then I transitioned into Marketing Manager. Sorry to bore about all of this.

Lily: You’re right to apologize, Jeez! I almost shot myself in the face. Your life is so boring. I’m messing with you. You look like a man searching for something with the constant movements.

Ayomide: Maybe I’m searching for something, you know.

Lily: I’ve just stuck with the same thing I have been doing all these years.

Lily: I enjoy ice cream so much, I feel like a little girl each time I see ice cream.

Ayomide: I see that you’re very happy right now, even excited.

Lily: Wanna head back now?

Ayomide: Sure!

As they got into Ayomide’s car, they strapped on the seat belts and continued their conversation.

Ayomide: It’s not just your face that is all happy, you’re also excited in other places.

Lily: What do you mean? She said and smiled.

Ayomide pointed to her boobs and said

Your nipples are hard and they’re visible against your top

Lily: Those boys have a mind of their own.

Ayomide: I like looking at them

Lily: Naughty guy! 

Ayomide: You know there are other places that we can put ice cream other than our mouths.

Lily: Mr. smooth operator! I thought you said you don’t have game.

Ayomide: I get lucky at times, you know a bad clock is right twice a day. Maybe this is one of those times that I’m right.

Lily: Oh my God! How old are you?

Ayomide: Old enough

They both laughed, then Lily continued the teasing game.

Lily: Why do you lick your lips so much? It doesn’t look like it’s just the ice cream that’s making you do that. Is this an LL Cool J thing?

Ayomide: What? Of course not. You just look absolutely ravishing in that dress, and I’m thinking of other places to lick this ice cream off you.

Lily: Slow down, mahn.

As she laughed, she looked down and saw an iPhone charger, and remembered her phone was dead, she brought it out and plugged it and watched it charge.

Lily: So, hypothetically, where would you put it and lick it from?

Ayomide: Hypothetically, I would put them on your boobs, around your areola and just over your nipples.

Lily: Looks like you’ve done this a couple of times.

Ayomide: Well, a magician never reveals his secret.

Lily: Hmmmm…

Ayomide: But before those big girls get the treatment

Lily: Hypothetically!

Ayomide: Hypothetically of course!

Ayomide: I watched you speak and scoop ice cream into your mouth and my goodness, your lips are really cute. So, maybe a taste of them before applying the ice cream on the boobs. 

HYPOTHETICALLY!

Lily: You’re such a pervert! Ogling my mouth and my boobs. Do you have an elaborate plan for the rest of my body as well?

Ayomide: Well

Lily: Can you park somewhere?

She said, fiddling with her phone, trying to get it back up. She set it down as he parked into a lonely street, and then he inclined his body in her direction, twisted his face, and kissed her. He could taste the ice cream from her mouth, both their mouths were cold, he pulled her lower lips into his mouth, holding the back of her head. She held his head, enjoying the kiss.

His hands began exploring her body especially the boobs that he had been imagining in his head. He cupped them from underneath, squashing them against her chest, their lips wrestled each other. They both enjoyed kissing, then Lily’s phone began ringing. Lily had to break their kiss. She grabbed her phone from beneath the dashboard and who was on the phone, Nike.

Lily: I’m sorry I have to pick this call, I’ve completely forgotten, we were supposed to watch that movie together.

Ayomide: Sure.

Ayomide grabbed his phone as well, reading through his messages too.

Lily: Hello Nikky, what’s up? I can explain

Nike: What kind of friend are you, Lily! You’ve not read any of my messages.

Lily: I was busy and ran to the cinema for our movie but my phone battery has been flat since I’m just charging it in a friend’s car now.

Nike: Lily! I’m doomed!

Lily: Don’t be so dramatic! Friday just broke with me today.

Nike: Friday broke with you? I thought you said you were smelling him proposing to you.

Lily: That’s what I thought too. That’s why I have been sending you messages because I know you don’t like to pick your calls.

Lily: I’m very sorry about that. I don’t even know who Friday is. Men are really scum o! No one knows him amongst all our friends, you kept his identity secret only called him Friday to us because you met him on a Friday.

Nike: I have been crying in my house, I’ve been at your gate since. I’m waiting for you.

Nike: If you have read your messages then you’d have seen his pictures. I have declassified his info since he broke up with me.

Lily: Isn’t it too late now? You hid him from all of us

Nike: I hid him from everyone because of you. You’re a man-eater but what is the matter now.

Lily: Anyway, I’m sorry, I’ll be on my way now. My movie just finished.

Nike: I have just sent you the bastard’s picture. Feel free to embarrass him anywhere you see him.

Lily: I’ll check my phone now.

Lily ended the call. 

Ayomide: I hope all is well with your friend?

Lily: She is pretty shaken, her boyfriend just broke up with her when she was sensing a proposal but got hit with a break-up.

Lily was talking and working her phone to open up Nike’s WhatsApp messages. She opened her phone to a barrage of Nike’s messages telling her about the break-up, and a picture of the guy who broke her heart.

She opened the picture and it was Ayomide that sat beside her, all the desire was being riled up in her in the car make-out session died immediately.

Lily: Please can you drop me at my car, Ayomide

Ayomide: Is everything okay?

Lily: Yes, my friend is waiting for me in front of my house.

Ayomide: Sure!

Ayomide dropped her at the car park, and he tried to get her phone number but she stormed off into her car.

How is it Lily’s fault, if her friend is hoarding who she is dating?