I know you all will say I’m inconsistent in writing especially in this section but there are several paroles to be written, and they are all in my head. The thing is some people often think I blog lies in this particular section but I’m gonna be writing about some of the failed paroles that I’ve had so you see how I messed up some of them earlier on in life whilst some of them are very recent.
I know some of my readers always wonder if I always have the kind of sex I always write about, the sad truth is I DO, I won’t lie to you about that one.
Let me tell you about my own philosophy on women, I’m a firm believer in the system that if you ask 15, worst case scenario 2 of them will agree so I’m not that kind of guy that goes around trying to toast one girl for over 8 months without any success. My philosophy is that if you don’t like me to a certain degree, I won’t kill myself, steal your pin or phone number, Lailai.
I will never do that, I don’t care how much I like you; I will not take turns like the other guys to talk to you. If I like you that much, i might check back in like few months or years time, if you really mean that much to me.
Ok, let me start with failed parole number 1, this parole was a chic I knew in church back then, she left for school, I also left for school but she would call me occasionally and I would also return the courtesy, we would talk dirty and all on the phone.
We had been doing this for a while now, for about 4 months, so one night she told me she was coming to Lagos but didn’t want to go home, I did not live on campus, except in my 100/200 level, the rest of my stay in school was off campus.
Back to my story, I told her she could stay in my place, she came, I took her out on my small school boy money, everything went well. We got back to my place and then she changed into her night gown to sleep, as a guy there wasn’t much to take off, we got into bed.
I tried touching and all, she kept pushing my hands away complaining that she had a boyfriend, you need to have seen my facial expression as she said that, I almost ran mad at the thought of what she just said. Initially, I thought she was joking, as a bad guy I was already imagining how much we would shag before the daylight comes. She has this very cute ass, somewhere in between regular and big in terms of shape.
Knowing my kind of body, as she was undressing, my John Thomas was already nodding in my boxers, thinking back at the food I bought, the small money I had spent, I kept pestering her but she firmly said NO.
So, I asked her what she was thinking when she said she wanted to sleep over, that I would be looking at her, and her cute ass, and more depressing that the honey-land would just be lying there and not be serviced? After a particular time that she said No, I let her be. We went to sleep, I couldn’t sleep but I forced myself to sleep.
A few hours into my sleep, some different kind of demon woke me up and asked me if this is how the whole thing will end, she would now go home and probably tell people that I wasn’t a man or more importantly that I wouldn’t get the pussy.
So, I woke her up.
I know she was wondering why I woke her up, I told her that the whole we cant have sex thing cannot work, she said she had a boyfriend and all that, normal female things, but I told myself dude, “Na my own go lose ?”
I start smooching her, she was covering her pussy with her hands, while i was busy squeezing her boobs, she was making sure I couldn’t get to her pussy, her boobs weren’t that big so I had to manage with that, but in order not to make it seem like rape, I put all my strength into her boobs, working her small boobs. She was feeling it but she was still protecting her pussy not just as much as before.
So, I manage to get my hand into her pussy, I fingered her so much, she was turned on, she was all wet, but all I could do was finger her, my dick couldn’t even get into the pussy, I couldn’t even get a blowjob from her, it was a terrible parole. I fingered her so much that night because that was all I was getting…looool and in between I gave her the exact amount of money that would do as her transport fare, not leaving her with N20 extra, am not that bad, am i?
As soon as she left that day, I deleted her number and now we barely talk, just hi hi, shikena!
The second failed parole is that of an OSU girl, no offence to OSU chicks but we all know how some of you are.
We had been talking on the phone, she stole my number from her friend’s phone and we got talking, we spoke everyday, and even started dating from phone o, we just saw each other once or twice.
On a cool Sunday morning, we were talking and I asked her, how about if I came to her school, she was surprised but she said okay. I stabbed church went to get an AGO bus, got there. She was in church, I joined the service and we went home.
My own so-called girlfriend had to go change in the bathroom because she didn’t feel comfortable changing clothes in front of me; it was from there I could clearly conclude that my ministry with this babe wasn’t moving to the permanent site.
I am not a fan of travelling except by air.
She cooked, we ate and then it was time for private things, you understand intimacy and all, you won’t believe I could barely get a kiss out of her, for me, it was a failed trip.
I couldn’t even get a boob look, a whole MOI, its crazy isn’t it. Guess what? We broke up some days after that experience, the funny thing was that I really liked her then but it was a lost cause.
Another failed one was, it wasn’t actually a parole, it was a date.
We were on a date; she was a fine chic, good-looking, big boobs, cute face and all.
We’re sitting at a bar on the island, having drinks, and it seemed like it was gonna be a good home-run and then it happened.
I called her some other girl’s name..Faaaccckkkkk!!!! Sheeetttttt!!!!! I kept screaming those words in my head, but she heard it and asked what I said, I told her it was her name I called, though she was suspicious but she shrugged it off, and then again, I mentioned it again, and that was the last straw that broke the camel’s back, the second time I mentioned the other chic’s name was in the car when I wanted to go drop her.
As soon as I mentioned the babe’s name for the second time, she stood to leave, she wanted to take a cab home, I understand the whole getting angry but what made me feel bad was, this chic I was hoping to date and be serious with. Well things went south from there and never came back.
I wrote this to tell people that it isn’t all glamorous and nice when you read about the DS series; I have had my own share of stupid moments, so once in a while I will share some of my stupidities.
I hope you enjoy this; the most important thing is that I have learnt from these and hope they don’t happen again.
Thanks for reading and feel free to yab me in the comment box.looool