I would wish you a happy new year, but you’d know I don’t mean it, that I’m probably just saying it, just because.
Okay, okay, Happy New Year. 😀
Suffice it to say, I did not enter this year with any delusions of grandeur. I am not expecting results in any area of my life, in which I didn’t put in maximum effort.
In short, I am not anticipating miracles of any kind. I will not pretend with anyone, I will not be who I am not, to please anyone. I will not chase who wants to be left alone, I will play my cards right, and expect no favours. I have no new year resolutions; I figured if I want to change something in my life, it doesn’t have to be a new year to change it.
This year, change will be effected, as the need for it arrives. If you ask me not to worry when I say “what is wrong with you?”, I will not worry. If you say “don’t worry”, when I say “come and eat with me”, I will hurriedly eat up, so you don’t change your indecisive mind. I will love who I love, regardless of how they treat me, simply because I love them. And when ‘my eyes finally open’ to whatever rubbish they throw my way, I will thank Yaweh, and move on.
I will not wear my heart on my sleeve for anyone I’m uncertain about. I will not take a chance on anyone, I am not Abba. You will prove your love to get mine. I will not make empty plans or promises. I will not let anyone make decisions for me, and I will not let anyone look down on me, because of my age. I will not seek relevance to anyone outside of myself, or create a distorted image of myself to attract any nonentity.
Also, I intend to find KC KELLY.. (Follow me and send your email addresses, for more info on that..)
Last year was filled with more good, than bad for me. Good, because, despite all the traumatising obstacles and obstructions to happiness that I faced, nothing beats the fact that I graduated from the University, when I did, as I should have. After June 29th, whenever I felt that God wasn’t for me, I just remembered how I graduated, with a presentable result, against all odds.
For me, nothing beats that. But like all of us, I went through a lot of pain, heart ache, trumped aspirations, broken dreams, haunting memories and words. Some caused by the inhabitants of my immediate environment, most caused by myself. But I didn’t forget to draw up a mental lesson note from each of my experiences. I definitely don’t want to go through those things again. I’m watching myself, warning myself, reminding myself.
So you can see why I am not expecting anything out of the ordinary this year. I’d say I’ve become wiser. Pretty rational, isn’t it?
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