March 28, 2024


 

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WANKER!

And on the bed is Davido! Ananana nina……..

Hello Peeps, am sorry, i couldn’t resist saying that.

So, last week, we were playing with an idea of having a ‘DEOLU BUBBLE magazine, alot of people contributed about what they wanted to see in the mag.

Currently, we’re trying to draw up ideas, what’s needed, the design, categories, features, interviews, cover page models and what not. Believe me, when we’re done, you would have a wonderful magazine to look at. I dont think i should reveal just yet the powerful bloggers behind this, this will be a landmark i can assure you. If you want to join in, you can send me a tweet @deolububble.

We will be revealing more details as we go along, just keep your fingers crossed.

Today’s topic is one i have always had in mind to blog about since the inception of this blog, we all know what it is, most people claim not to have done it before but we all know the truth is almost everyone is guilty of this. For guys, even when you feel you aint doing it, you’re.

I mean, they do that shit stuff in porn, so why would you deny not doing it? oh common, be honest with yourself, that’s me trying to convince you to admit that you’re a wanker!

The irony of the term wanking is that it’s gender specific while its called wanking for guys, its called masturbation (gimme another word for this?) for ladies. Firstly, lets start with the issue of whether it’s a sin or not. For the first time in recent time, the man of God, Pastor Chris lent us his opinion on this while some people agree with him that masturbation isn’t a sin, i beg to defer.

The reason for declining is, if you read your bible very well, looking at a woman with lust is a sin not to talk of wanking, and we all know you need the image of a woman in your head to wank to depending on the degree of your weirdness, some people get it down with Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, some porn stars, even neighbourhood girls.I am not juding your choice of jerking off image. All am saying is that its a sinful offence but we all know that aint gonna stop you. So, i’ll just move on.

Different movies, tv shows, comedians have spoken out for it, from Entourage, the tv show, its mentioned very often, there was a point in the show where Johnny Cash told someone that whenever he is tensed, he goes into the bathroom to wank himself off. From the show, he came out stronger, i guess that shit works for him. If you watch comedy, one of the funniest comedians ever to hold a mic, Katt Williams (call it whatever, i like the guy, if you dont agree, do the following; Gaan start a blog, publish your own opinion, blogs on wordpress are free…looool :P).

Anyway, moving on, Katt Williams is of the opinion that whenever you wanna have sex with a woman, or whenever you want the sex to be special, you need to jerk off first, actually jerk off the first nut (typically, what you can ‘release’, the release word isn’t sexy at all). Katt continues by saying the first nut has a mind of its own, it will betray you any chance it gets, you might have thrusted into the veejayjay for only 4 seconds and the nut is already driving out in a ferrari at top speed out of your balls. Bitches can be tricky but definitely not as tricky as your first nut of the day.

By jerking off the first nut allows you enjoy your sex properly then you can try out that new style you found from the old indian love manual called Kama Sutra, you can try out all that shit. Well, its also advisable that you do the jerking off before you get to your woman’s house or you might just go into the shower for a quick bath and jerk the motherfucker off.

*In case, you still get the same time of action as your first session for your second session, i advise you use medical aid, i don’t suggest Viagra, unless you’re above 45. Drink Alomo or Ogidiga or something, It works wonder. Thank me later ;)*

Some people have fucked through their first nut before, i have done it before, it wasnt easy cos at a time my dick didn’t ease out after the first nut, but, i managed it anyway. hehehe!

Majorly for guys, if all you do is jerk off before sex, you’ll be alright but then if you’re a chronic masturbator, you might as well wreck your own dick, cos too much of it weakens the dick muscle. Only good news for masturbators is that it reduces the chances for postrate cancer. You can google it if you think am lying. There is always something wrong about something  right.

I read somewhere on the internet that the best things in the world are either illegal, fattening or killing………

For the ladies, masturbating is a way of letting out steam in them, i just browse youporn sometime to just watch women masturbate, turns me on as well, what you decide to do with the erection is totally your call. To show how important this is, companies around the world have been producing dildos, vibrators, and even fucking-machines  to help ladies overcome the urge whenever they have the urge. I know some ladies who have this in different colors and sizes.

*You thought i was joking about the fucking machine?*
Headways have also been made in research on how to make it more fulfilling for guys, there is a product called fleshlight.

Fleshlight is a product that looks like a big smoothie cup, with rubber ontop of it, the rubber is shaped like a veejayjay, just google the thing abeg…looool There are also other products, there is the human size one as well all in a bit to help people get their nut out.

And you thought nut or release wasn’t so important abi.

Anyway, the point is jerking off is a sin but it has good side which is that it helps reduce the risk of you getting prostrate cancer while the bad side is that it weakens the penis muscles.

In all honesty, do you wank? its  a trick question right? Hehehe

 

Keep Reppin’

‘Deolu Bubble

 

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Dr. Deolu Oniranu-Bubble

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