If you’ve ever listened to about a minute of The Weeknd, you’ve probably heard about how if you have enough regular sex it gets so boring that you need to start doing some really extreme—sometimes dark—shit to achieve a release. Well, it turns out a lot of celebrities are more like Abel Tesfaye than you might have expected. Normal king-sized beds won’t suffice and plenty of celebrities from Paris Hilton to Will Smith have taken their love-making to the streets. (Though I’m sure Paris Hilton has plenty of sex behind closed doors too.)
But there are levels to this. Not all public celebrity sex is created equal. Some stars only pushed the envelope in a “middle-aged married couple trying to spice things up” sort of way. Others got surprisingly creative and luxuriously adventurous. Then there are the celebrities who scraped the bottom of the barrel and did unforgivable things just to get it in. It’s shameful just discussing those cases…
But we’re going to anyway—here are the 25 Weirdest Places Celebrities Have Had Sex, ranked. Let’s get weird.
Andrew Gruttadaro is the Pop Culture news editor. In comparison, his sex life is embarrassingly boring, but he also tweets here sometimes.
25. On a Commercial Airline
Offenders: Chrissy Teigen & John Legend, Miranda Kerr & Orlando Bloom, Carmen Electra & Dave Navarro, Janet Jackson & Jermaine Dupri,Chris Brown, Liam Neeson
Of all the weird places celebrities have done it, this is probably the most basic, so it’s no surprise that there’s a handful of offenders. Joining the mile high club is basically a must if you’re a celebrity. Miranda Kerr has admitted to having sex and masturbating on an airplane for chrissakes. Celebrities: they’re just like the freakiest versions of us.
24. By the Sea
Offenders: Kirsten Dunst & Jake Gyllenhaal
In an interview with News of the World, Kirsten Dunst tried to brag about her wild sex life with Donnie Darko and proceeded to name some pretty normal places that they had had sex—in cars, in the bathroom, and by the sea. As this list will show you, those are all quite tame, but the most evocative of the three has to be “by the sea.” It could mean so many things! Were there other people around? By sea, did she mean the ocean or was it specifically a Mediterrean-type deal? Was it just on bare sand or were they in, like, a cabana?
23. In a Gym Bathroom
Offenders: Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick
As far as celebrity public sex goes, this isn’t much (Step it up, Lord Disick!). You’re not wearing much clothing, your adrenaline’s up, the swell is on—it’s a shock that more people don’t have sex in gym bathrooms. The only thing relatively daring about gym bathroom sex is that a wrinkly, naked guy might walk through mid-act. Though I’m assuming Kourtney and Scott aren’t working out at the local YMCA, so that doesn’t even come into play here.
22. In a Truck Deep in the Woods
Offenders: Blake Shelton & Miranda Lambert
If there’s a more Country™ place to have sex, only Florida Georgia Line will be able to find it.
21. In a Lifeguard Booth
Offenders: Joanna Krupa
As someone obsessed with The O.C., I can’t hate on the Housewife for this one. Especially since it sounds like a really sad situation. “We were on vacation and I took him to the lifeguard booth and basically had sex there and on the beach and everywhere else you can think,” Krupa told The Huffington Post. “But I know he wasn’t feeling comfortable. I guess I was a little bit embarrassed because the next day I was like, ‘Did I really do that?’” Aww, don’t worry Joanna. It was definitely him, not you.
20. In the Control Room of a Nightclub
Offenders: Joanna Krupa
Wow. Joanna’s a freak though.
19. In a Bathroom on a Yacht during Cannes Film Festival
Offenders: Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt
Nothing says Paris Hilton like having sex in a bathroom on some billionaire’s boat in Cannes.
18. In a Car Outside of CBS Studios
Offenders: Daniele Watts & Brian Lucas
Having sex in an old Benz isn’t really crazy at all. Having sex in an old Benz outside of CBS Studios after you’ve just had a meeting there is kind of crazy. And pulling the race card and refusing to hand over your ID when the cops come because you’re having sex in an old Benz in broad daylight is fucking insane.
17. In a Limo on the Way to the 2009 Academy Awards
Offenders: Will Smith & Jada Pinkett-Smith
Technically this is on the same level as Angelina and Billy Bob (keep reading), but it gets downgraded for a couple reasons. One, it took Will and Jada almost a full decade to get on the “sex in the limo on the way to an awards show” wave. And two, Jada revealed the dirty secret a year later—in a magazine interview—so the public wasn’t privy to that “I just got fucked” look like they were with Angie.
16. In a Limo on the Way to the 2000 MTV Movie Awards
Offenders: Angelina Jolie & Billy Bob Thornton
The two things everyone knows about Angelina Jolie: 1) She stole Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston and 2) She banged Billy Bob Thornton on the way to the 2000 MTV Movie Awards, and then announced it on the red carpet. Late ’90s/early 2000s Jolie was a wild treasure.
15. In a Chateau Marmont Elevator
Offenders: Scarlett Johansson & Benicio Del Toro
This little tale has never been confirmed, which is good, because the last thing I want to think about is Benicio del Toro sweating all over Scarlett Johansson in a small, old world elevator.
14. In a Wine Bar
Offenders: Robbie Williams
According to Robbie, he’s had public sex in a variety of places—trains, planes, parking lots—but a wine bar is the weirdest. Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something very off-putting about the image of two people having sex while someone else asks for a Pinot noir recommendation in the next booth.
13. In the Bathroom of La Boheme Met Opera
Offenders: Drew Barrymore & Fabrizio Moretti
Don’t be embarrassed, Drew and the drummer from the Strokes. Who wouldn’t get turned on watching a Puccini opera?
12. In a Bathroom at a Family Gathering
Offenders: Christina Aguilera & Matthew Rutler
Talk about risky—and a little disturbing. Not only could, like, cousin Teddy barge in and see Matthew Rutler’s genie coming out of his bottle (Childhood. Ruined.), but there’s also something very concerning about boning out on grandma’s sink while everyone else sings happy birthday to her in the next room.
11. In a DJ Booth in Las Vegas
Offenders: Pete Wentz
Pete Wentz is in cool-guy brag-mode at all times, but this quote he gave toFHM has to be his worst: “I was DJing in Vegas and the room had a balcony that overlooked the dancefloor. We could see the people dancing below but they couldn’t see up to where we were.” Alright, I guess you’re allowed to brag about that sorta thing, Pete.
10. In Jail
Offenders: T.I. & Tiny
This wasn’t just a regular conjugal visit. Tiny actually told TMZ that she and Tip were in a room during regular visiting hours when, I’ll let TMZ explain, “Tiny made like Michael Jackson and… beat it.” The worst part is, they got caught and T.I. was sent to a “Special Housing Unit.” Two weeks in the box for a handy? Well worth it.
9. At the Grand Canyon
Offenders: Jenny McCarthy
While the idea of cliff dirt getting in all sorts of unwanted places is making me itch, I have to ask: Does this really count as in public? The Grand Canyon is fucking huge. There are all sorts of nooks and crannies you can get lost in. Right now, as you’re reading this, I bet there are upwards of six couples having sex in the Grand Canyon.
8. In Florence, “Among the Renaissance Masterpieces”
Offenders: Kim Kardashian & Kanye West
As Kanye told a Florence newspaper: “I adore Florence. I love Italy and the Italian lifestyle. To tell you the truth, I already came to the banks of the Arno [river] with Kim last year, just the two of us, incognito. I think that our daughter North was conceived here among the Renaissance masterpieces.” Now, I know Kanye probably doesn’t mean he and Kim had sex next to the statue of David, but I like to think they did.
7. On Stage
Offenders: Danny Brown
Watch the (NSFW) video—Danny basically shrugs as if to say, “Yeah, I’m definitely used to getting blown on stage.” Just so we’re clear, this is a pretty weird place to have sex, Danny.
6. In a Private Box at the Royal Albert Hall
Offenders: Brad Pitt & Sinitta
Who’s Sinitta you ask? She’s the girl who “finished” Brad Pitt on the floor of a box in one of the most historic concert halls in the world. As we saw with Drew Barrymore and La Boheme, opulence apparently really gets celebrities going.
5. On a Jet Ski
Offenders: Kendra Wilkinson & Hank Baskett, Victoria Silvstedt
Jet skis: the preferred place for former Playmates to get down. Kenny Powers would be so proud.
4. On the Staten Island Ferry
Offenders: Liev Schreiber
The dude was going to Staten Island—can you really blame him for finding a way to cheer himself up?
3. Underneath a Table at the Vanity Fair Oscars Party
Offenders: Miley Cyrus & Liam Hemsworth
Also an unproven report. But this allegedly went down in Feb. 2012, about a year and a half before Miley twerked at the VMAs. So consider this the first time that Liam realized Miley was way too bad of a bitch for him.
1. In Between Subway Train Cars
Offenders: Zoe Saldana
And the award for the most ratchet sex goes to… Seriously though, this is bottom of the barrel stuff right here.
Source: Complex.com
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