Written by Miss_Ajomale
You know how Sundays are, you wake up, feeling lazy still from Saturday’s owambe things.
Yesterday was mad fun, woke up with a rumbling tummy and the next thing I know, I was purging. Well, I was kinda glad no church for me cheesy smile and now it’s just Mr Robin Thicke, and me, earphones plugged in my ear.
Yes! Music is my major inspiration and after this, other things may follow. My music was interrupted by a phone, the caller went directly into the gist, no courtesy greeting….
“He plays polo, speaks 7 different languages including English, Yoruba and Hausa; he works in a oil and gas /mining firm as their business development manager and trust me he’s finnneeeee” She began to rant.
“Dark in complexion, 6ft 2” tall with some sexy ass bow legs, not so buff but sexy enough for me, Yoruba bobo and his voice Oluwa Oooo…
His hair! Gosh!!! His mum is half Irish, so he’s got awon soft dark curly hair, asewo eyes, pink lips, his cologne and dress sense is mad gan and when he wears a suit, na die………”. My friend continued with her oscar winning description of a guy she just met.
Inioluwa (ini), sounded like she was being sexed as she described him on the phone, she wouldn’t stop talking and all I could say was wow, hmmm, ok and giggle a bit because I was fantasizing about him already.
She noticed my long silence and screams my name TOUN!
Did you hear what I just said? I thought it would have made you angry for me or shocked to say the least. I replied with ‘Uhuh’ because I wanted to end my daydream in the best way that suits me.
While I was day-dreaming, she had talked about how he had taken her out to lunch a few times, hung out together, gone to watch him play polo and each time they had to crash, he would sleep on the couch or get a room with twin beds, he stayed with his parents so he never took her home.
The farthest they had gone was a hug and a peck on the cheek, I didn’t even realize she had entered angry mode, she was upset cause last night he friend zoned her.
He was telling her about a girl he had seen at a fashion show, she has large brown eyes, long hair, she’s light skinned and pretty, has this rabbit teeth thing going on, that seemed funny to him.
He spoke about her because he had seen her that night at Eko hotel having dinner with some guy and he had wanted Ini to help get her number but she flipped and stormed out the room. He had been calling to understand what the matter was, why she had been so upset but she won’t pick up or reply his Messages. I was about to join the vex party then I asked how they met. Sorry, his name is Olumide.
Two months ago, she got bored and drove her mum’s car round Lagos with no particular destination in mind. She had gotten to VGC from Anthony when she realized she needed to eat, she had been having work issues and been feeling lonely as it’s quite hard to find a decent bobo in this town. I remember she called me to ask about a fancy place where she could grab a bite and maybe meet someone worthy of her attention, so I had given her a list of different places.
She picked Radisson blu from the list because I mentioned they made very nice salmon and it wouldn’t cost her more than 7k for the buffet.
He sat at a corner by the window so he could enjoy the view, I guess. He was wearing a nice white V-neck tee with some art work, linen pants and loafer. He looked like he was done eating because he was laid back and gave 100% attention to his phone alongside his glass of scotch or whisky.
The silly girl told me something goldish with ice in it. She also mentioned how didn’t look half bad herself in a black tube dress, gold turban, gold slippers, a little purse with just an eye liner and a red lipstick as its contents, no earrings or neck piece, as a fine girl who looks just great without make up.
She had gone to get the main course when she walked up to him to ask if she could sit with him and he agreed. She started the conversation and they got along, flowed like they were old friends, laughed and chatted as she ate.
He ordered a bottle of red wine for her while he stayed with whatever he was drinking; and from the way she had described this conversation, she was first to friend zone him. She lied about having a boyfriend in Yankee who wasn’t keeping in touch and she was trying to make it work, not sure why the mumu girl said that because it’s not in any way true. I think, it was for him to find her vulnerable or make him want her, not sure who told her guys liked or wanted girls who are already taken.
Well, some do, but as far as he was concerned he would be the rebound guy and when her boyfriend comes around she can toss him.
Helloooo!!! He probably knew he couldn’t stand a chance with her boo been a US Marine compared to him been an oil and gas boy. What’s sexier than a brother in uniform and not just any uniform, one with the American badge and things? Smh…
Back to present day…. “Erm Aunty Ini, please why are you angry? You pushed him away first, he’s probably one of the few decent dudes left. You made it seem like you were into your non-existent guy, and dudes like him I’m sure, are too proud to try to gain your attention.
Babes, that’s some long thing for him abeg. Sorry ehn, answer his calls, sort it out and call me later.
I need to go meet with the lover; I have been summoned. Kai ! Can’t find what to wear oooo.” I said
She hissed at me and got off the phone.
I’m not sure what I missed in all of that conversation that got her so upset but all that was in my head was I had found a way to stop purging. The lover had called and I was off to his, where the SEX is awesome.
Ini would have to wait, because on this matter even money sometimes gets to wait. Mehn, bless God for earpiece as that was an hour twenty minutes ‘convo’ of an issue I wasn’t even sure how to solve or thought was an issue.
I scanned through my wardrobe, picked a tribal print full flare mini skirt, a white chiffon blouse, tribal neck piece and a pair of white wedge high top sneakers . I dashed to take a shower, packed my hair in a bun, picked the sexiest black underwear I have, got into my clothes picked a teal purse to match the skirt.
My cab man, Mr Segun had given me like 3 missed calls, he should wait biko, while I shined those long luscious legs of mine. 😀
I got into the cab and he goes “e kasan shey shonibare estate lan lo , ni odo oga “ ( Good afternoon , are we going to oga’s place at shonibare’s estate?)
I kept quiet because in my mind am like see finish o. He goes further to say, “You know today is Sunday and you go there on Sundays.”
Finally I answered him “Na there we dey go.”
He smiled and murmured something to himself but I wasn’t even interested, I don’t know why I was even cranky all of a sudden. Usually, I would be thinking of how best to blow the lovers mind and the possible ways he’s planned to bend, twist, turn, hold, squeeze, bite and kiss me.
Biko! That boy’s touch is badass, while I was lost in my thoughts, my phone rang and it was him
… “Hey, where you at, you know it’s not cool to keep a grown man waiting”
Kai! The lover’s britico (British) accent is deep, and as we all know the English people have the sexiest accent, then the French follows.
“Sorry, my darling ma binu (don’t be upset) I’m almost at yours, stuck in that traffic light traffic into Maryland” and he replies,
“Okay hurry, I rolled a splif, got vodka and some mixers. I’ve ordered pizza, I know how you get hungry when I’m done with you” he chuckled and went off the phone.
Ini’s call came in just after his, but for some reason I decided to ignore then sent her a text to say I was getting busy, she replied with
“Don’t know why you stay with that ghost lover of yours not like he plans to make this your thing official, when you’re done please holla, I need your advice am losing my mind here”. She said
I was at the lover’s place in no time, thankfully I dint have to hit the heavy metal gate, the gate man was outside to save me, paid my cab man to be on his way and be back to get me at 10pm. I got down and the gate man looked lost, like he had never seen me in anything that flirty.
I walked into the house and as always he was there to hug and lift me, hmmmmm it’s always good to see you sweetie and as always you look good, he said.
He lifted my skirt to peek under, winked at me,
“Nice! Nice!! , Please do me the honours, walk in front of me let me get the view of those legs of yours” he said slowly in the most erotic tone ever.
There we were, in his room, he poured me a drink, we lit up and clothes fell like dominos, Timberlake’s Mirror came on TV and I started to dance, he likes it when I dance, it drives him crazy. For a few seconds, it felt like the moment where a guy goes on one knee and asks a girl to marry him but naaa, we were both high and that wasn’t happening.
It seemed like we were making love till I whispered and said, can you fuck me instead. Then I knew I had asked for the demons to be released. We had moved from the bed to the wall, to the table then I had this embarrassing fanny fart, chei!
This thing wouldn’t stop, good thing my phone didn’t stop ringing either, served as a good distraction at the time. Gosh! I hate these farts, he pulled out of me to get my phone to either answer it or shut it up.
Ugh! It was Ini again, can’t this girl just chill I thought to myself, abi na so man matter do am ni.
On the other hand, this brother is not even chilling; he has entered me sharply so I had to form thick voice to answer the distressed young lady. I answered the phone,
“Babes! how far, I’m a bit busy let me call you back, please?”I said hastily
“No, tell me where you are, let me come and meet you, I can’t wait anymore, we need to talk you have to help me.” She replied like she had been in tears.
At that time, he was about to cum he was already going in too deep, super-fast and hard. I didn’t even wait for her to say the next word, I’d hung up already. I didn’t need her hearing what he sounds like when he cums.
We laid flat on the bed, panting like we had just finished a marathon, then slowly he asked “Who was that on the phone?”
“My friend o, she’s having boy issues and wants to talk about it, she’s been calling all day.” I replied.
He got up and walked into the bathroom to clean up as he said, “Have her come over and you girls talk.”
I looked at him like he had lost his mind, he won’t even let his friends over when am there.
He continued “The sun is down, I should go for a run and make some business calls, she should be gone before I get back. I have a friend coming over can you be kind to make dinner, you’re not going home tonight, are you?”
In all of my lust and weakness I said softly, “I am, I have to.” Then he said, “Ok, I would drop you off, but that would be 11-ish.”
I picked up my phone, sent Madam a text and headed for the bathroom to get me decent. She was at the gate in less than 20minutes like she had been just at the corner stalking me and waiting for me to say, Come!
I went out to get her before banging on the gate frustrates her. “Sister that was fast and you look like hell; did you have a bath today?” I asked her.
“Nope, I just brushed my teeth and washed my face, I have been crying, that’s why you notice” She replied, “thank God you’re not smelling”, I replied and she chuckled.
“Oya, so did you call him”, I quizzed.
“Yes, I did, he said he was busy today and he would be off to Warri in the morning and back on Friday afternoon so we can’t see till Friday night.” She replied
“Well, maybe you should mail him and say how you feel maybe he would look at you differently, I’d have said he was gay, but he asked you to help him set P with some chic” I said.
The thought of that got me laughing, she looked at me like she was going to punch me. I sharply ended the laugh, chipped in a sorry and attended to my ringing phone.
It was Oga that was calling, my heart skipped a beat because he had been gone 40mins and I had forgotten I had to make dinner.
Immediately, I flew off the couch and headed for the kitchen, dragged Ini with me so if I picked he would think I had been cooking.
“Has your friend left?” he asked.
“No, she’s here in the kitchen with me, she just got here.” I replied.
He went on to say, “Ok, my friend is at the gate, could you go help him in, can’t get that silly old gate man to pick up his phone.” I walked out, found the man with alomo as he was trying to light a cigarette; I said to myself “This man should be fired, someone is knocking and he’s here lighting up and getting high.” I hissed and walked to open the gate.
You need to see the pop in my eye and the smile I had on when I opened the gate.
Chai! See perfection, now I see why this goat won’t let his friend’s come over when I’m here. Like he’s meant to be bothered if am with another man, aren’t we just brapping ni?
He cuts into my thoughts, “Hi! I’m Adeola, Folarin said I should wait for him.”
I said “Oh yes, he mentioned you’ld be coming.”
Kai! see me wishing he was at a wrong house so I could sharply gum body.
He turned to me and said, “I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere asides here.”
“Me? Never” I replied.
“Wow! I’m so sure it’s you, where do you work?” he insisted.
I answered, “I’m a psychiatric nurse, my only free days are Sundays and Mondays, so I doubt it’s me except you’ve been in Yaba left or any of the rehabs around, cause I take shifts there too.”
He said, “Naaaah! It’s not you then, sorry about that.”
“No. Its fine.” I said. I walked him to the sitting room and said, “Please, have a sit, what can I offer you?”
He chuckled and said, “Folarin, sure is lucky no wonder he hides you from us.”
“I wish” I said under my breath.
He continued, “Water please, it’s going to be a long night of drinking when that man of yours gets here, let’s clear the system first.” I handed him a glass of water and asked to be excused.
We were done in the kitchen, Ini and I where setting up the dining area , we had no idea what we were doing, but I know I had seen my mum do this a lot when she and my dad had people from work over or when my siblings came home for Christmas and that’s like once a year.
Well, as for Ini, no hope, it was just her and her mom and this never happens if she had to cook or have anything like this it would be at some restaurant or she would employ a cook who would do all of this.
I beeped Fola on his phone because I figured he and Deola would have gone to the study to talk.
My friend was set to go as they walked in. Fola feeling all bubbly like he had just closed a million dollar deal asked her to stay for dinner. In my mind, I thought they had all planned this, his maybe best friend and my best friend or should I say closest friend in the same room with us about to have dinner.
Shet! They had this all planned. This nigger wants to propose and it would shock him that I would say no. So that’s how people just move from brapping to being engaged.
Aaah! It can’t happen. But wait o! when did they all meet with Ini? Never! Would he have taken her number from my phone? Naaaa! I very much doubt.
Ini had been playing with her food while I rambled in my head what this was all about. Fola looked up and said
“Toun, is your friend okay?”
I looked and said, “She doesn’t like fried rice, moreover, she’s got a lot on her mind.” I asked if she wanted to go home, she said no. I was hungry and anxious to see the rock Oga Fola was going to present to his darling friend with benefit.
Smh, I can dream sha….
Out of the boring quiet and money talks of the men at the table, my Inioluwa , shouts,
“HOW CAN YOU BE ACROSS THE TABLE FROM ME AND ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW ME?
IS THAT HOW UNWANTED I AM TO YOU THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN CLAIM YOU KNOW ME OR SAY HI IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND AND YOURS?”…………. tears began to roll freely down her eyes.
I dropped my fork, had a sip of water and asked her who she was talking to, hope it wasn’t Fola o, before I beat someone. But the person she had been crying over is Olumide not any of the names here.
P.S : Miss Ajomale is a newbie writer, so please spare her… thanks!
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