August 8, 2022

Short Story: Lagos Men Are Scum (18+)

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Short Story: Lagos Men Are Scum (18+)

Hey guys!

How are you? Hope you had a fantastic weekend? I just have two things to talk to you about before today’s story. First, the planning for the party is going swimmingly well. If you’re part of the people willing to donate, I sent an email last night about the event, there are some details in there that you need. If you’ve not gotten the email, please email me at or send me a DM on Instagram (@deolububble). Also if you’ve not registered. Do so now! We’re closing the form soon.

So, the first thing is cleared up.

Now for the second thing, Deolu Bubble is going international!!!! Someone blow the airhorn…

We are hoping to spread into the US in the long term, we are making strategic partnerships, trying to get more known in the US market amongst African Americans and Carribeans. One idea we are trying is to use mass produce these cute little cards, pictures below, and hand them out to people that we think will enjoy the story. If you’re in the US and want to get someone of these cards to distribute in your area, feel free to write me up at or message me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram (DeoluBubble), and we will ship it to you. You’re such a big part of us.


Before you start with this story, I want to establish two facts. One, Lagos is full of mad people, two, never trust any guy named Femi. I’ve collected my breakfast but ahem, this is not a sob story and I’m just putting it out there for you guys.

A thick fair complexioned lady (that’s me) with a well-shaped humongous backside hopped around puddles that littered the semi-tarred road, a joint work of a failed government and rain. A grey-coloured Sienna minivan slowly tailed her with the driver (Femi) tried to get the lady to stop.

I eventually did stop and his Sienna stopped right beside me. Another typical day of my life. It has become a hassle for me to walk down the streets these days, guys in cars and on foot want to stop me for a talk or get my number.

Femi was a bit different though, instead of engaging me in a long talk like the rest of his species, he simply asked where I was headed and offered me a ride. I looked at the keg I clutched in my hand, I was headed for the filling station.

You know how the country is with the power grid always acting like Lazarus from the Bible. Normally, I would turn down a ride from a stranger, the country is not safe but the filling station is not far away and I didn’t expect any evil scheme from someone with such a cool face. Also, it was threatening to rain and unless I wanted to get drenched I would have to go to the filling station quickly and return quickly.

After thinking it through, I accepted to ride in Femi’s car. It was a short trip but an interesting one, we discussed how the government is a failure and the state of the country. I got my fuel and Femi asked me to keep my money as he paid on my behalf and filled his car too. It was a nice gesture and I was just too happy to keep my money.

Femi offered to take me back home. What a sweet day, he dropped me at the front of my house and dropped the clanger, he asked for my phone number. He has been a gentleman and all but, I don’t always give out my phone number.

So, I gave him the wrong phone number and we parted. Don’t be surprised, I already told you Lagos is full of mad people, I am one.

Poor guy probably tried my number to no avail overnight when I was enjoying Netflix with power from the generator that was powered by fuel Femi paid for. It feels good, I didn’t ask for favours, he offered them. Well the second day around afternoon, as soon as I got out of my gate someone grabbed my hand from behind.

The Lagosian in me was fully awake and I turned around to slap whoever it was but I came face to face with Femi. Stupid me, I let him drop me in front of my house, it was too easy for him to find me. He told me how he had been sitting in his car for the past three hours waiting for me to come out.

Again, Lagos people are mad, why sit in a car for three hours waiting for a lady you’ve met only once for less than an hour? That sounded quite funny but I felt guilty, I shouldn’t have treated him like that, he was nice to me.
I apologized for giving him the wrong number and I gave him the correct one which he immediately called twice to confirm it was the real thing. He gave me a call later in the day and we connected on WhatsApp.

That’s where it all started from, Femi didn’t go through the corners, he immediately let me know he wanted to have a relationship with me. Now, that’s a real issue. I’ve had my fair share of guys and most of them are just bewitched by my ass and wanted a taste.

It became really hard to distinguish between true guys and hit and runs.

A very clear NO was given to Femi but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He managed to befriend me. We had fun as friends, I won’t lie. He would call, take me shopping, we went to restaurants, to the New African Shrine, did blunt and drinks together.

All the while, it was just platonic, no sex involved. During this course of our friendship, I did my best to study Femi and decipher who he is. He was a darling, no doubt about it but also, Femi was a big liar.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that. I knew when he was bullshitting me but I just let it slide.

Truth be told, I had already fallen in love with him to the extent that I was ignoring the glaring lies he told me. I would date him but I wasn’t sure about his marital status and deep down in my mind I knew if I asked him, he wouldn’t come clean about it.

Being someone that had lesser fears about everything, I asked Femi about his marital status as he claimed that he was single otherwise why would he be chasing after me all this while?

It seemed like a good answer and I asked him why would a young single guy drive around in Sienna’s minivan.

The question threw him off balance but he quickly regained composure and started to explain how he loved a minivan because of the space and all. He was bullshitting me and I knew it but fuck it, I was ready to ride the wave and see where it led.

I agreed to be his girlfriend and the relationship kicked off officially. After a few more outings and persuasion from Femi, I agreed to visit his place for a sleepover.

I’m a woman that knows my onions and so I dressed for the shenanigans that I knew would take place in the night. When I got to his place one of his friends that I know was with him.

Pretty me did the responsible girlfriend shit and hit the kitchen to fix nice Jollof rice for us to eat. We all joked and shared stories, it was nice company alas for a reason that I saw as bullshit, Femi’s friend had to quickly leave leaving me alone with him.

I was dying from laughter inside me, these guys just used the most basic bro codes on me. There was no problem with that anyway, it was expected and I was prepared. Femi drew in close and looked deep into my eyes like he wanted to take a peek at my soul, he simply said,

“This would be our first sex”. I nodded in affirmatively to that.

We locked lips right there on the couch and as we were at it he was getting my clothes off of me. I went after his belt, it was of utmost importance that I assessed his dick to know how serious I would be in that relationship. I wanted something long and big.

When I brought it out I wasn’t disappointed. Femi carried one hell of a dick in his pants and I told him right there that his dick was big. He smiled proud of his dick I guess. What he saw when he finally got my top off made him smile more.

My fair firm boobs sat proudly on my chest with two shades of darker nipples and wide cleavage. It’s a beauty if you see it.

Before he would lose all his excitement, I wrapped my lips around his cap and licked it all clean. Damn, that boy’s dick tastes sweet as hell. The further I went on his shaft, the harder he was for me because he was thick.

My lips stretched every muscle in my mouth ached me but I gave that dick some serious love. I had his balls in one hand and the second hand caressed his shaft as I sucked. He made to fuck me raw and I blatantly disagreed, I wanted him to use condoms to be on the safer side.

He didn’t have any condoms, so I reluctantly agreed for him to hit raw.

Your girl had no choice, she was dripping wet, konji na bad bastard. Femi labored to lift my thick thighs in his arms as he rested my back on the cushion. It was a nice position for some nice tatatatatatata knacks.

We must have fucked in that position for about 30 minutes, I dunno, I lost track of time only God knows what that boy used before I visited him. He nuts his seeds deep inside my pussy eventually and we were both tired.

We went to bed for the night but a few hours in I knew I wanted that penis of his again.

I dipped my hand into his shorts and stroked him as he slept. It didn’t take long at all for his dick to rise, I began to blow him again and he was awake moaning from the wicked blowjob I was giving him. Before he could sit up, I pushed him back down and sat on his fat cock.

Femi probably never had a girl as thick as I ride him before so he was quite surprised when I started to ride and twerk on his dick. I needed nobody to tell me he was having a swell time, I know how good I am at riding a dick and his dick is just one that I liked because of how it filled my pussy up.

Before he came, we switched to doggie and he gave me some more serious tatatatatatata in my pussy before nutting in my pussy again.

We had a nice night, in the morning I felt a bit tired, but I had to leave though. I had some of the best sleep ever when I got to my place. When I woke around nightfall I was quite shocked to not see any calls from Femi.

It was really weird, I had never called him, he always called me. I was alarmed but I waited till the next morning before I called him.

He picked up the third ring but a woman answered the phone. I gathered that the woman was his wife, I quickly lied that I was a salesperson from where her husband had purchased gadgets before and he forgot some of his purchases at our place.

I asked her to help me relay my message to her husband and gave her my name. Hours later, Femi started to blow my phone up with calls that I didn’t pick up.

I collected my breakfast early in the morning. Mad people are in Lagos, never trust a Femi. The sex was nice though.

Written by Reezy Sama

This post has already been read 7068 times!

Written by
Dr. Deolu Oniranu-Bubble

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