I cannot live with a spouse - 'Deolu #ONIRANU Bubble!
May 9, 2021

I cannot live with a spouse
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I cannot live with a spouse

I cannot live with a woman

We have all heard that before, severally too. So, here is how this conversation started with a couple of friends a while back. I got to meet a friend’s boss who apparently is a very big boy, Nigerians can relate to what that means. It just means he is very well to do which these days just simply means he’s got shit load of money than what he has use for.

We all stood there admiring him, and quite naturally, I decided to inquire more about his life, and I asked about his wife and kids, and the friend who knew him said, he’s got a baby mama who has 2 children for him but he cannot live under the same roof with a woman.

I asked again quite slowly this time around, what do you mean by he cannot live with a woman, the friend then explained that he even has a difficult time dealing with ladies at work talk less of going home and seeing one everyday.

For me, this just means liberty of bedding as many women as strength allows given how much resource you have, he might have a point.

There is a rumour that Aliko Dangote doesn’t have a wife at home, I don’t see anyone complaining about it. Why can’t I?

I sincerely wish I can have that point of view and stick by it, but then I can’t, imagine telling my Yoruba mum that I cannot live with a woman, it would have been easier to break that news if I was driving around in Rolls Royce and have bought her a third car also with a couple of children from a babymama or babymamas. Lol

That will be the day I will hear the things because it just seemed like I wanna soil our good family name by being absolutely irresponsible not wanting to do the decen thing which is get married, have a family until the society dictates what is next, because here in Nigeria, it is the society that dictates what you do with your life.

The norm here is finish school, get a job then get married for a guy, for the ladies, its once you’re in a higher institution, you’re good to get married if you meet someone you want to marry. Yoruba people often say you can always be educated in your husband’s house, but get the certificate in your father’s name sha.

The society has literally told us day by day what to do, in association with the Church as well. For a guy, if you’ve started working and can afford 7-9 shirts with 3 good trousers and 2 decent shoes, you’re good to go, your mates already have 2 kids or more, what in God’s name are you waiting for ?!

An Igbo friend once yabbed Yorubas while we were discussing sometime ago, he said once a Yoruba guy living in a one-bedroom apartment can afford a TV with DVD player, he’s ready to be married.

Is this true, I leave that to your better judgement.

There is always an awkward scenario especially with Yorubas, when you go for a wedding or family function, there is always this arrant need to ask you about your marital plan especially when you’ve arrived without a date, but I’m now so skilled at answering that question with a smile/laugh and “very soon, sir/ma” as a reply, and I always remember to add by God’s grace. Few people are more religious than Nigerians, its advisable that in other to be socially accepted throw in a couple everything relies on God phrase.

Back to the “I cannot live with a woman” thing, in as much as it might not be socially acceptable for one to do that, many more people are doing that these days, as sadly as it applies for males, it appears to have to be same trend with ladies as well, especially the financially capable ladies.

It is now the new trend of what people do, people want their freedom as they’ve always had it, don’t want to be bothered about feelings or attraction for anyone in particular. Don’t want to get bugged down to just one person, being answerable to one, neglecting all others. What I personally think is that its an easier option is to live without a spouse, the hardest is sharing your life and resources with someone to forge an alliance that will run until death.

From the kids point of view, it’s a bad move because children need to live in an environment where both parents partake in the development of the child but it doesn’t always happen like that, does it?

There is a saying that if you wanna go fast, go alone but if you wanna go further go together, even the bible says two heads are better one.

Most people who wanna live this sort of lifestyle most times are career driven, they don’t want anything to interfere with their chosen career path because they wanna climb as high as possible and family life with a spouse is a huge distraction.

Famous philosopher, Socrates has a famous saying that goes, by all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Was Socrates sending a cryptic message here?

So, do you think its right for one to live with his/her children without a spouse.

Have a blissful week and enjoy our postings for this week.


‘Deolu Oniranu-Bubble!

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Dr. Deolu Oniranu-Bubble


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