March 29, 2024


 

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Fix when broken

Hello Mortals,

Before I start, I’ll like to talk about the elephant in the room, the elephant in this case is why the blog has been close to inactive in days almost month past. Its simple, I have become lazy..okay, maybe not lazy.

I have had to my plates full with several projects, some things have to be prioritized, you’ll agree with me that you see at least one new post a week on this blog which means bringing you something new every week has always been on the front burner for me.

Alot of people have also asked me about the magazine, we suffered series of setbacks on that front as well but i can assure you, that the end will justify the means. We’re still on it, very much on it.

Thanks for your patience, we will make you proud, I couldn’t be more grateful to everyone who visits this blog despite all sorts of errors they encounter when visiting, we’re not totally there yet but you still support us with the visits, the comments, the retweets and the referrals. Its overwhelming.

Thanks once again.

Blazing towards today’s post, the fix when broken applies to all of us today; that’s ideally what we should all do but for some reasons we sometime replace instead of repairing. Some of the reasons are best known to us, some of us don’t even try justifying it to people when they ask.

Get my drift? No… Okay, let me give you a typical example. My TV went bad a couple of weeks ago, not completely bad though, it was just a case of the volume seizing when the volume is loud, sort of like what happens when there is an increase in the electrical current that makes the fuse to break, that sort of scenario.

It’s very okay; some people can still use it as it is but the frustration that comes with this is that when watching an action movie and there is a loud explosion, the volume cuts off and the frustration of having to restart the tv, missing some scenes in the process of switching it off and on again can spoil the flow of the moment, tv addict can understand my point, missing crucial seconds in a movie can mar the whole movie experience.

The TV had been behaving like this for a while, the first option was to repair it but then again the challenge of that is that I’ll be without TV, the thought of that is more devastating, so i convinced myself that my best bet is to buy a new TV, I could be a difficult person to convince; sometimes convincing myself about a decision can be tedious. Eventually, i told myself, the TV is old, more than 4 years old.

I’m sure not everyone seems something wrong with this; but the point is I should have fixed that TV and continue using it, the point of this post isn’t to talk about my tv but more about human attitude more especially in relationships.

There was a story that was trending sometime ago about an old couple celebrating 50th anniversary and they were asked the secret of the marriage and the couple said, they come from a generation when things are broken, they fix it not throw it to the garbage.

Our generations and few others above us believe in throwing things away once its broken, from relationships to marriages to business ventures to friendship. Don’t get me wrong, there are some friendships that need to be severed but not all of them are worthy of been cut off. Some friends are backstabbers, some will stab you in the front just so you know they’re the ones and some others will cheat you during business at the tiniest chance they get; you have my blessings to severe those ties.

During hurt stage of life, we tend to make those harsh decisions because of what has been done to us, I know of people who broke up relationships not because of fornication but because of how their boyfriend/girlfriend was pushing them to do things. We all need to be pushed in other to attain the best in life, we need people around us who can inspire us to do great things and if we could be more patient in our dealings, we could enjoy the fruits the hard work bears.

Marriages & relationships break because both parties are not willing to overlook each other’s excesses. Everyone has their good and bad sides, I have met people who their bad side outweighs their good side. If you really want to know what kind of person someone is, take a shirt of paper, divide it into columns, write the positive things about the person on one side and the negative on the other sides, quantify the both of them and decide your next move (stolen from Tyler Perry’s Why did i get married).

A lot of people go into marriages and six months down the line the wedding is heading for the rocks and you begin to wonder what the heck happened, isn’t this the same couple that were together, holding hands, feeding each other and having fun.

When you try to investigate this, you get all sorts of answers which may include incompatibility. They try to justify to you how they’re horizontal in nature and how their spouse is vertical in nature and what amuses the most is that those couple look compatible but apparently one is tired of the other’s bullshit and wants a divorce. Most times, these differences are reconcilable but the human need for something else, something new overpowers the current urge to reconcile.

A Yoruba adage says that he who hasn’t seen other farm asides his father’s believes his father’s farm is the biggest. When relationships break, marriages collapse, its time to move on into other relationships, thats when we discover that the last guy was actually a very good guy but the urge to move on was too strong.

This is just a request to us all; before you quit that marriage or end their relationship because of some flimsy excuse, think deep about it, think of the good times and what went wrong, can you correct it? Can you both have a fresh beginning before opting out.

One problem i feel we have is westernization, the western media have influenced us, Africans of past generations have never been known to be divorcees, we stick it through till the end; Even coming from days when marriages were arranged that our fathers and mothers got to know their husbands/wives on the days of the wedding, they still stick together, spend years together, learn to love and respect each other. That doesn’t happen anymore these days, all we have are divorces cases here and there based on flimsy excuses and the sick case of Kim Kardashian, its obscene.

She’s jetting around the world with Kanye West, blowing each other and shagging in the limousine. The other day, Kanye West and Kim came out of the Limousine and Kanye’s pants came down, wardrobe malfunction and they were both trying to explain what happened and i was wondering;

Are we kids????

The most annoying part of this all is that she is still legally married to Chris Humpries, the divorce hasn’t been concluded, and you begin to wonder what kind of sick world is this???

I think the West has outgrown Sodom & Gomorrah, am not a saint but when i see somethings my body cringes.

Sorry for the digression, All in all we need to take things easy , cherish that relationship/marriage, don’t throw it away because of irrelevant reasons.

The question now is do you practice fix when broken or you throw away as well, also what can your partner do to make you throw away the relationship/marriage.

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Written by
Dr. Deolu Oniranu-Bubble

Follow @deolububble

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