'Deolu #ONIRANU Bubble!

Who is the worst cheat?

And Nigeria is the champion of Africa again after 19 years *In the voice of the white commentator*

I’m not been racist because I chose the voice of the white commentator but its indeed a good feeling to win a tournament despite the fact that I dint support them from the beginning. Sunday Mba is indeed the Nigeria’s joker in the tournament, supplying the crucial goal that defeated Ivory Coast and scoring a superb goal to earn Nigeria the AFCON cup.

Its all so exciting although I still think Ahmed Musa should be tied to a stake and burnt, how can you fall down at that important time. We’re all proud to be Nigerians right now and I have a new friend, Aristide Bance, he kinda looks like the black Hulk.

Now, back to why we’re here…

It’s good to be back to regular blogging amd I want to appreciate everyone who took part in the #10Days10Writers. Thanks for your input. The write-ups were tremendous and thanks for allowing us read about your 2012 and your hopes in 2013.

For the love of all that is good, don’t believe what the writers said about me being a bully, they’re mainly casting aspersions on my warm personality. I’m a nice guy (I think) 😀

Moving on to better thoughts, humans have been breaking hearts for thousands of years. Some people will break your heart any chance they get while some will never betray you but these days it seems like everyone is out to get you.

As usual, when I get around with my friends, it’s usually interesting especially after the level of alcohol is high enough with different stories flying out but then again hanging out with the boys is always the highlight of the day and sometimes, the week. Cheating, some people will say, is in human DNA but this is arguable.

This question I am about to ask is not new, I’m sure you’ve probably argued about it before. Whose cheating nature causes more devastation to the partner?

The irony in this argument is that each gender will always speak in favor in his/her gender. Well, not because I am a guy, women cause more than heartache than guys and here is my reason, for the man he might never be able to live the same again. I know of  a man whose wife left me for his best friend after 2 kids, needless to say he hasn’t been the same again despite the fact that it happened more than 20 years ago, true story. I’m sure you have same story as this, please share with us in the comment section.

I will share with you 2 real life stories, I know them personally but I will leave their identities hidden. These examples are of marriages that are at least 15 years, just to let you know they are not newcomers in marriage or love.

The first is of a happy family. They’ve got a couple of kids with the first in a private university, humble father, very gentle in his ways, loved by everyone in the neighborhood. There is an expression in Yoruba that is used to qualify people, it’s interpreted as “If you put water in the person’s mouth when leaving, he/she will hold it in place till you come back” . That is the most epic way to describe this man who’s got this sterling quality; he gets back from work on time, devoted husband, cool dad, wonderful neighbor, he rarely keeps late night. In fact, other wives advice their husbands to be like him.

Long story short, The husband’s father died and family had to travel down to the east for the burial,  after the burial was done, the mother-in-law called the wife and introduced her to the 12 year old son her husband had kept in the village with her. The resemblance between the boy and her husband was astonishing.

Her first-born is 14 years old while the young boy in the village was 12 years old. She almost passed out when she was told the boy was her husband’s son, the boy has a striking resemblance to her husband. When they got back to Lagos, she moved out of the house with her kids.

She couldn’t even comprehend how it happened because she said she recollected vividly that at that time that he was cheating on her, their marriage was fantastic as he rarely traveled. Even when he did, they talked on the phone for several hours. She still couldn’t understand how it happened but most importantly she couldn’t comprehend why he would do such a thing, they have always been happy but their marriage right now is on the rocks.

For the second part, this is a story of a couple who have been married for over 35 years, yes it’s been that long. For some weird reasons, the whole family had to go for a DNA test.

Some of them had graduated, married. The results were nothing short of devastating, out of the 7 kids the wife bore for the husband, it was only the second to the last that was the father’s child, the other 6 belonged to someone else.

The painful part for me is that why cheat on your husband again after the sixth child. This man spent the whole of his adult and fruitful life training another man’s children. To make matters worse, the father of the four children was the man’s friend.

People, I kid you not, this is a true story, not nollywood story. The times we live in are dangerous and cruel. The man said just one thing and one thing alone, he said “Please don’t take these kids away from me.”

Put yourself in the man’s shoes, what will you do after 35 years of marriage only to find out you were been lied to. Imagine the days when the father would have been broke yet he had to pay school fees for a child he didn’t father.

How can a woman stay in a marriage for that long and continue to sleep with another man for those long years.

Now, let me ask you these questions, who do you think causes the most devastating heartbreak, men or women? What is it with wives and their husband’s friends, Is it just about sex?

Let’s hear your views in the comment box 🙂

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9 comments

  • Ha!this is deep Deolu!
    Mehn both men and women cause devastating heartbreak..some women are just dirty and greedy.yes its about d sex

  • Well, am far from marriage and true love is not on my tab for now, but as much as I’ve seen in my little life, I’ll say both of them have their fair share of it.

    There is this adage (or probably just a saying), that “Women love in their youth, Men love in old age”… I kinda agree with that but there’s more tendency for one to cheat when you’re younger so I’ll stick with the ladies in this one.

  • Mehn dat second story is deep i can’t imagine wat dat man wud be going thru. Having witnessed cheating in both situations in my short time in life i can say one is more painful dan d other but d fact dat dey say an african man can av as many wives as possible shud reduce d shock on d man part but a woman cheating on her husband is a taboo in most if not all african tribes and it’s mainly coz of d sex nothing more. u see some women chase younger boys too its d sex nothing more.

  • I think its something both sexes a capable of doing even in the strongest relationships. it only takes a lil temptation and we’ll fall, the human body is tooo weak. ;( anyways at the end of the day a couple who truly understands that it can happen to anyone will work thru it and trrrrrrrryyyy not to let it happen again.

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