This should have been a book, but I spoke to some people about it, and it may seem like it’s too early to write a memoir, so here is some part of what I’ve written.
I’m an emotionally unavailable manchild that is neck deep in a bottomless swamp of self-created chaos. I’m the architect of my own misery
I pretty much create my own reality and live in it, forcing other people into that lifestyle as well but is very unhealthy, and a false way of living. And every once in a while, some lady comes and knocks me off my so-called high horse, and tells me to wake up, and smell the coffee and guess what? I don’t because I’m a manchild who enjoys living in the fantasy world I’ve created for myself.
That’s why the whole anonymous shit rocks absolutely.
Honestly, I can’t pinpoint any reason why I’m so damaged emotionally. Maybe if I can find a therapist in Nigeria that I can at least have a couple of sessions where we dig into my past to find out where it all goes horrendously for me but personally, reflecting on it? I cannot find anything but know that I try my best to write my wrongs in any way possible.
I’m a sucker for repairing my relationships because I personally wreck about 98 percent of them but I’m not a bad guy, it’s difficult to explain but I’ll try. Not as glamorously as Hank Moody but some degree of similarity. For some weird reason, people find me attractive, and it keeps me up at night because I stare into the mirror and cannot find the attractiveness.
This is gonna be difficult to explain but I’m gonna try to explain else I’m not such a good writer or weaver of words, unlike Joey Akan. Everything doesn’t always go according to plan but like every other bad shit crazy thing in this bitch called Life, you cannot do anything about it.
I’m a good guy, at least I think so, and try my possible best to do things I think would make me qualify for that prestigious tag, but like The Fighting Temptation Gospel Explosion song, I’m not just good enough.
So, like my friend says, “At the end of the day” you just gotta take whatever you get. Some of them I mend, the others I just move on, and make sure my conscience is clear that I did everything possible to mend the proverbial fences.
I feel like I’m talking too much and the novel hasn’t even started. And one more thing, all real names have been substituted, any you know are purely coincidental, that’s all.
See you in Part 1 titled The Boring, The JJC & The Fool