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Average Joe (18+) : The Twitter Chic

Twitter is such a fantastic place ,you know?

It is a Universe on its own, with so many different worlds, and in those worlds, so many different continents and a lot of diverse countries within those continents.

Have you ever tried reading through the timeline of a typical African-American ‘tweep’ and delving deeper  into the minds of these people and really understanding the way they think? No? You haven’t?

Okay. Let’s move on with the story then…

I met this particular girl on our very own Nigerian twitter community. Her handle caught my eye at first because it was a very strange name for a handle. I won’t mention the handle for obvious reasons. I zoomed on her avatar and what I saw really impressed me but what captivated me most were her eyes.

They had such an enchanting allure, and that was just from the avatar. One more thing I did before I followed her was to check her bio, which was very funny. I went through her first ten tweets and found out she has a very mature mentality with the way she tweets. I didn’t ask for a follow back because I usually don’t.

I am actually one proud son of a bitch.

So, I became a sort of stalker as I always looked out for her tweets, and retweeted a few of them. This went on for a week before I started to reply her with my witty comments whenever she tweeted something I liked.

She always replied with a ‘LOL’ or a ‘LMAO’ before she made her comment. I knew I was warming myself up to her but we needed to communicate through direct messages (DM) but she hadn’t followed me yet. So I intensified my stalking till this particular day when we had this long argument about a trending twitter topic. It was fun between us that day and at the end of it all I received a mail notification on my phone that I had a new follower.

I checked to find out that she had just followed me, I rejoiced!

3 days later, I sent her the first DM. Her first reply was another LOL, then 2 more replies after that, I was INNNNNN!

It became an everyday thing after that as we kept chatting via DM, then one day she asked for my PIN. I told her I don’t use a blackberry, which was a lie, but as a BOSS, i gats form for her na.

To make her feel special, I told her that just because she asked, I will get a bb soon so we could chat more.  I sent her my PIN seven days later and she was overjoyed. The moment she accepted my requests her first 3 messages showed smileys of her rejoicing, dancing, and hugging, then a very long line of kisses. I knew then…that I had struck gold, sexually that is.

She had never seen my picture before; I have never used my real picture as my avatar before. Not even as my DP. I waited a while till she asked…

I formed a little reluctance at first and told her that my face is a write-off, that I’m so damn ugly and my parents almost rejected me the day I was born if not for the love of the most high God.

She laughed it off and told me that it really didn’t matter. I sent her my ‘best’ picture and she was like ‘Awwwwww…so cute’, I replied her with the embarrassed smiley with a *blushing*  smiley right next to it, that was how we became hooked on each other.

It was almost a month later before we finally met. We stayed in different states at the time but she was coming to mine to attend a Symposium (Google, or a dictionary app, is your friend).

I was so happy I would finally meet her; I made sure I shaved off the beard on my face which has been there for over six months, not forgetting the other beard down there ( >_<). I needed to look as cute as I can be, exactly like the picture I sent her.

She called me when she got in and told me the hotel she would be staying at, and when to meet her there. I knew shit was going down that night. You know why? Oh…You don’t.

Well, forget it. (-__-)

At about 6pm that evening she told me that the symposium had ended for the day and she was free. I stood before my closet for like an hour trying to figure out the best clothes to put on to go meet this beautiful lady. I gave up trying to look dashing, threw a random shirt on and got out the house, waved a cabbie and told him where to take me. I got there half an hour later and called her.

She came down to meet me, in a sky-blue t-shirt and bum shorts, to think that I had spent hours trying to ‘dress-to-impress.’ She had a big smile on her face when she saw me. We hugged; her sweet fragrance filled my nostrils. She said she’d ordered room service so we had to get back to her room, I was just giggling inside. This P had been set to its perfect end…well, almost, because I was yet to get to the Promised Land.

I’d seen pictures of her from her avatars, and DPs but nothing had prepared me for the fact that she stood slightly taller than me. A six-foot chic with full bust and an ample  and very shapely ass, her ass seemed like they were perfect big semi-circle at her back. Dude, you have to do justice to that butt, I thought to my pervy self. We got in her suite, and I found it to be spacious and well designed to provide room for whatever sex position your freaky imagination could conceive.

Hahahaha! Of course, I kid.

The Suite was just okay; I’d surely been in better. I sat myself on the armchair by the corner and watched her sit on the bed and enjoy her meal, She threw me several glances as she ate. The sight of her full boobs trying to burst out of her shirt aroused my member. I spotted a bottle of wine in a coolant just by the  bed, I asked her what it’s for, she told me to go ahead and open it and pour her a cup.

I was still being the well-reserved gentleman but she was acting like we’d known each other for longer than we did know each other. It was a bottle of a very expensive wine I knew (name withheld), I wondered to myself…she must really know how to enjoy herself very well.

I had already declined the food she’d offered I share with her, although when I got closer the aroma and the sight of it fondled with my senses. I poured wine in her glass, then mine, trying to hide the mini erection down there.

We sipped, then we talked, laughed and sipped some more, I poured more wine and we continued drinking. She was fun to be with as she tried to dance the oppa gangnam dance, her huge boobs bounced on her chest, my erection rised up another notch, I tried to hide it, crossing my legs over eachother. The drink tasted quite good in its chilled state, and the intoxication was slowly opening me up until I found myself lying on the bed beside her, going through her phone while she went through mine.

We went through each other’s pictures and laughed at the funny ones, she brushed her boobs against my arm; She stood up and went into the bathroom. When she went in, I checked my watch, 9:56pm. If anything was going down tonight…NOW was the time. I couldn’t just come here and leave without knacking mahhn…I can’t.

I’m sure she wanted the knacking too…but girls will never ask. GIRLS WHY???

I sat there contemplating what to do and how to do it; she came out of the shower, in a towel. Oh Lawdy Lawd! The laps mehn…the laps. I couldn’t take my eyes of the sexiness of it. What girls can never say with words, they do with their actions.

I guess that is the way they are wired. I just gulped and gawked at her as she came in the room. She was using another towel to dry her hair while she talked about what she had to do at the Symposium the next day and how much she looked forward to it. I was just thinking to myself…who gives a fuck about a damn symposium when there’s some extensive Knacking to be done?

She walked up to the bed, and sat down…by this time my whole body was boiling and trembling at the same time. I just nodded my head and replied with ‘mmhmm’ when she asked me anything. All my attention was on those long legs and the suppleness that I could see in her fair-complexioned skin. It’s like the devil slapped me across the face before I finally came to my senses and landed the first kiss on her just below her shoulder…. cutting her short while she spoke about the way forward for the Nigerian economic market or something like that.

I never knew what I was expecting when I did that. Either she was going to moan deeply and let loose the towel throwing it away into no man’s land or she was going to give me one of those slaps that people usually refer to as ‘dirty.’

I can’t clearly recollect what happened but it seemed like time zapped forward and we were both naked on the big bed, my face buried between her legs while I sucked the life out of her honey-pot. She was just moaning and almost screaming while my tongue found its way deep into her pussy, I used my hands to spread her thighs as far as they could go. She must be addicted to fruits and vegetables because her pussy tasted so good. I took my finger to the upper part of her pussy and began caressing,  flickering my tongue on her clitoris, sending waves of pleasure into her brain, licking her clitoris like dog licking water, fast and slow, she arched her back, dropped it back, rubbing her entire orifice into my face. Her loins were on fire

After a while of doing that, she couldn’t take it anymore, she needed the real D. She made me lay down on the bed while she got on top of me. This is usually my best position for a lady, because I’m also one lazy son of a bitch too. She stroked my dick and massaged it a little, tickling the shaft with her fingertips and sending mad sensations into my body. I handed her a condom from my wallet, she wore it on so expertly and teasingly as well. My dick continued to throb at the way she wore the condom on my shaft.

Slowly, she directed the whole length of my throbbing dick into her slippery wet pussy.

I just closed my eyes and enjoyed whatever was happening to me, the babe was so damn good at what she was doing, the way her hips were rolling round my dick, if felt like the best thing in the world at that moment. I reached for her boobs and squeezed them while she continued whining her waist. I pressed my hand harder against her chest as I squeezed her boobs, I am quite sure this was what Yvonne Nelson must have done to Iyanya to make him release that song asking for her waist.

I had held onto my climax for so long…. the pleasure I was getting from her was too phenomenal. This time she had turned around and faced the other side while all i could see was her big curvy ass and the way it slowly went up and down on my dick. She held onto my legs spread apart as she arched her ass backward and her waist continued the magic, twisting, turning and rolling her pussy over my dick. I couldn’t have asked for a better shag, All I had to do is relax and watch this bubble ass bounce up and down on my steel dick.

The lady was knacking me like she was a porn star, I have never been knacked like this in my life before…and the sight and sensations of the whole thing mixed together combined to drive me to one crashing wave of orgasmic climax…I grabbed her big ass with both hands and pounded into her from below as fast as I could until my cum shot straight into the condom. She rested her body in between my legs with my dick still inside her pussy’s goodness. She laid there spent.

Believe me…. there are no words in the English dictionary that could explain the way I felt at that moment.

After that session, we laid side by side, sweating, and catching our breath, despite the air-conditioner. Both naked and cuddling each other like we were long time lovers. She began to ask me so many questions about my past relationships and myself.

I told her the gospel truth about all of them because I considered her to be the sort of lady that you should be totally honest with. While I told her the events that had taken place between me and one of my ex’s, her fingers touched and caressed my chest and abdomen, and like joke like play, my phallus  became turgid once more and was pointing at the ceiling. She held it with her hand while we still talked, a devious smile on her face, stroking and caressing, cutting me off sometimes when I had to hiss because of the pleasure, just as I was there thinking this lady was too good to be true ; she climbed on top of me again, put her ass in my face and proceeded to give my dick one helluva blow job. I reciprocated same on her sweet tasting pussy, as we both sucked…and fucked ourselves to another wave of ‘sexual volcanic eruptions’…

After 3 days of sucking and banging, she had to leave. I held her hand while we walked towards her boarding terminal at the airport. She squeezed mine and told me to kiss her, right there in front of every watching eye. I have never done PDA before, but with what had happened between us those last 3 days,i just grabbed her waist, brought her closer to me and gave her the greatest kiss of her life. she left, I stood there watching as her plane took off.

Just as I was about to leave, i got a notification on my phone. When i read it…i smiled. The new girl who I had been stalking for the last 3 weeks just replied me with a ‘LOOOOOOOL’. Its time to get a little friendlier with this new girl.

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