AVERAGE JOE RETURNSSS (YASSSSSSSSS)
Happy New Year from the writer of Average Joe (who still wants to remain anonymous)
I’ve always liked the fact that I’ve never been tempted to get involved with my friends’ girlfriends all the way back from my Secondary school days into my university days. Well, except for maybe once or twice. But unlike most guys I knew who didn’t care who’s girlfriends it is they were fucking, I always tried to avoid causing problems with me and my guys.
They dated pretty ladies who could give any guy multiple erections simultaneously and who might have given a boner at one time or the other but I made sure to never let it get past just wishful thinking.
Well… until Emeka, my best friend’s wedding happened.
I met Emeka at my new job, he was one of the few guys I became cool with in the first week of the job, along with Charles and Gbenga. Emeka helped me a lot in those first few weeks and we somehow became quite close. I’m not the type for having male friends as I liked to be around women more often.
For obvious reasons, Emeka was the kind of guy you could tell about your problems and he would help you anyway he could without judging or making you feel bad. I never knew how close we really were until he called me one day and told me about a girl he’d been dating for a while and wanted to marry. Her name was Tolulope, a sweet Yoruba lady he’d known since his Uni days. He told me they’d fixed a date for the wedding and he wanted me to be his bestman.
I was shocked.
I had never been a bestman before because all my friends who’d gotten married knew me as a person who never really liked other people but myself. They considered me selfish and self-centered and I really didn’t care. I asked Emeka why he wanted me to be his bestman. He said I was the only person he could think of who wouldn’t make a big deal about it. He later told me Charles had been telling other people how he’d be Emeka’s bestman and discuss with Gbenga to plan the craziest bachelor party anyone had ever seen. Emeka told me he didn’t care about such things and he would never make a loudmouth like Charles his bestman. I understood, I agreed to be his bestman.
The day I met Tolulope, Emeka brought her to my place on a Sunday, they had just returned from church and he decided to bring her over so I could meet her and we could hangout while we watched football. I shook her hand as Emeka introduced us and I felt her hand tremble for a bit. She was probably the shy type and meeting someone Emeka had told her would be his bestman at their wedding could’ve made her feel a bit uncomfortable. I assured with a smile that she didn’t have to be unsettled around me. She smiled back, and it was beautiful, she was almost as tall as Emeka, who was a bit shorter than me.
She was chubby but not too chubby, she had an average sized torso, her boobs were quite big and I could see how well she revealed an ample cleavage with her v-neck blouse. Her hips were beautifully curved and I could see how thick her thighs were through the black flannel trousers she wore. She dressed like this to church? Oh boy, some guys must have been staring instead of listening to the word of God.
I offered them some drinks but Tolu, as I later began to call her, didn’t take alcohol, a can of Maltina was good enough for her while I and Emeka downed a bottle of Andre. The match on the TV was between Manchester United and Arsenal. Emeka and I talked about the happenings of the game while Tolu just sat and watched, smiling and saying a few words when she felt like. She was a quiet type, the kind of lady that appealed to me in a very weird way, although I like wild girls as well, but there was something about reclusive females that made me so much attracted to them. A well known saying has always been that quiet ladies/guys are usually crazy when fucking.
Emeka and Tolu left that Sunday I found myself thinking about my friend’s fiancé. The way she talked, the way she smiled, her pretty eyes. Her shy nature, Emeka was a very lucky man, I told myself, trying to sweep away the evil thoughts that were creeping into my mind. But there I was thinking I was the only one having such a dilemma until two days later, I was at the office when I received a call from a GLO number.
“Hello?” I said after answering the call.
“Hey Joe. It’s me, Tolulope. Emeka introduced us the other day.” The female voice said
“Heyyy, Tolu. Our wife.” She chuckled. “How are you?” I asked.
“I’m okay. And you?”
“I’m good o. just been a little stressed with work and all.”
“Aww, sorry. God is your strength.”
“Amen o. Thanks. Is there something I can help with?”
“Yeah. I’ve been trying to reach Emeka but it seems his phone is switched off. Does he work in the same department as you? I really need to pass a message across to him.”
I was about to ask how she got my number but I didn’t.
“Oh, sorry. Emeka works with Human Resources. But it’s not very far from my office. I can go over there and pass your message across.”
“Ah, won’t that be too troublesome for you?”
“Naah, it’s okay jor. You’re our wife nau. I’ll do anything for you.”
She hesitated for two seconds and I could feel the weight of the words in my last sentence. I hoped I hadn’t just non deliberately passed across the message that I was into her.
“Hmm. Really? Anything? Okay o.” we both laughed. But I could feel there was an understanding between us at that very moment. I wasn’t quite sure but my years of experience made me feel that way.
I passed across the message to Emeka and he told me that he’d actually forgotten his phone at home and thanked me so much for my help. I asked him how she’d gotten my number and he said he gave her for emmergencies. I said okay. But something about that was suspicious. Maybe it’s just me being too suspicious, I told myself. But a week later… my suspicion became reality when I found my head between the thick thighs of Tolulope, my best friend’s fiancé.