When did we all become so transactional?

I pity women a lot these days, and the reason isn’t far-fetched; most of the time they can’t tell true intentions, especially with really beautiful or curvy ladies. Even here on IG, she posts a picture, and there are lots of likes, comments and the rest, and that’s before she checks her DMs, which are flooded, which is why some ladies lock their account, and others rarely post 

 

A lot of guys are talking to you, wanting your number, texting you, calling you; you have to fight off the ones you don’t like and leave the ones you think you can tolerate, and even within that cropped list, they still have to weed through those with true intentions, which you might not be successful.

 

Some want to smash, see a beautiful or curvy woman, and want the trophy on their wall. Someone once shared a story about her ex-husband who married her only because she wouldn’t give up the cooch unless they were married. 

So, he married her, in court, traditionally, in front of God and man, enjoyed it for 2 years, then bugged out in a divorce. She is managing to pick up the pieces herself; thankfully, she is in a much better place.

 

This isn’t to bury the accusation of billing men; that one needs a cultural reset for all of us as a people. We should not also forget the economic impact of the country these days. Things have been hard, but right now, they are extremely harder than any previous time. The arrogance and entitlement to someone’s money, similar to a beggar spying into the wallet of a good Samaritan.

 

The monster of an issue is what is creating a transactional world that we live in. Some men can’t even talk to women or have a proper conversation because they have enough money to throw around; who cares about conversational skills when you can drop an iPhone 17 for her, or wire her 500k instantly; who cares about the rest. No one!

 

There are culprits in every gender: the older man who likes young, curvy women, the older women who like young men with a lot of energy.

 

The issue at hand is attraction, which I think is a lot easier for guys, especially people who don’t know how to pick up cues even if it were covered in neon lights on the floor of a dark room.

 

Some ladies can be supremely expressive in the quest for you; others think saying hello is enough for you to get it. For the more expressive one, the world is their oyster.

 

You can tell a woman likes you by the way she looks at you. Her full attention is on you; it’s almost like she is waiting for the words to drop out of your mouth, and she’s scanning your face for what is going on. It’s almost creepy, but it’s not; it’s dinosaur-level attraction, it’s that big.

 

For some others, they cannot do without calling your name; every millisecond you’re together, or not far away, they’re calling your name, they’re talking to you and calling your name.

 

They cannot stop themselves from touching you also, not inappropriately either, just that reassuring touch; they wanna be there for you, and they are quick to ask how you’re doing, wanting to be there for you.

 

This isn’t covered by the fact that you’re rich; it might have to do with being good-looking, though; can’t be sure.

 

Remember that time you were in secondary school/high school, and you had a crush, you can’t quite place why you like them; you just know that you like them and want to see them, it wasn’t because they were rich, wearing Nikes, Rolex, diamond-studded chains, they’re just who they are, and that seemed to connect with you on a very deep level.

 

We all miss that because attraction has now become complicated, because where does he live, where does he work, what is his salary, what kind of car does he drive, how many rooms does his house have, does he spend well, does he go out on weekends, is he the life of the party, what is his surname, where are his parents living, has he ever stayed aboard, is he planning relocation, does he have solar, does he have an inverter, how many KVA is his generator, can the generator reliably power fridge, freezer, A.C, how does he do his dry-cleaning, can he cook, how many people have access to him, to his car, his apartment and his finances. 

 

All these questions even before asking for his genotype, like he’s interviewing for a job.

 

I think we all miss that life was simple and you just liked someone because you’re like them, the attraction that just gladdens your heart and makes a bad day feel better.

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