Hey, welcome back. I have decided to get off my high horse of using Hi Mortals, Hello Earthlings. It\u2019s not that i am being remorseful about using it or anything. I just want something else for a change.<\/p>\n
Before I continue, I will like to give \u00a0a big shout-out to everyone who came out after the rain on\u00a0Saturday\u00a0to support, we did the fashion shoot for the magazine and it was nothing short of awesome. For people who thought we\u2019re not doing it again, it may tarry but it will come eventually, shout-out to the twitter folks, @crystalsay4, @ifreke, @teemiam.<\/p>\n
God bless you all.<\/p>\n
No post today, this is basically a rant, my last post, the bach eve, alot of people left wow as comments, sent me DMs on twitter with the same wow and I\u2019m wondering if the story was that good. I decided to write that because i just realised that i dint write any DS Series last month. So, i wanted to give you something nice to read. I will write the part 2 of that post eventually, just trying to get my storyline together and most importantly for people who are wondering if it\u2019s real or not.<\/p>\n
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls\u2026..that post is purely fictional but it could be real right? Maybe i should give myself the South American experience. I just need to start saving for it.<\/p>\n
You know that inner voice that tries to guide you through life telling you what to do in tight corners and all of that? Some people call it their mind, some people call it holy spirit, some folks think it\u2019s the voice of their dead father or mother guiding them through their lives.<\/p>\n
Like every human being, i failed to listen to that voice a couple of times and i can tell you i got into trouble a few times. Just like some days ago, by some luck i wasn\u2019t driving that day and the time was about 5pm, i thought a cab wasn\u2019t a good idea, with all the traffic and all at that time, so i took a bike to Obalende to take a bus.<\/p>\n
Wait sef, why am i explaining to you the reason why i didn\u2019t take a cab?<\/p>\n
Moving on, I sha got to Obalende.\u00a0 ideally, I like to sit at the extreme end of the back seat where no one will bug my life when they want to alight the bus. I looked behind and i saw 3 people already sitting there. One old man, a young lady sitting close to the man that looked like @kemmiiii and then a space between them then another guy, carrying something on his lap.<\/p>\n
The space for me to sit in the row was in-between the young lady and the young guy. I absolutely don\u2019t have a problem with this, i stood in front of the bus, trying to evaluate whether to go into the bus or go for the next bus. Ideally, I won\u2019t have been bothered but the old man seemed to be unusual.<\/p>\n
Firstly, he looked like a construction worker who didn\u2019t have a shower after the day\u2019s work, also very scrawny looking, he was also eating another scrawny looking piece of chicken. Everything about him sha looked scrawny, i know am using the word scrawny too much, get off my case jo, he looked like a freak, feeble statue with big bulging eyes, seems strange abi? Yes? My mind sha wasn\u2019t down with going with this bus but as i wouldn\u2019t be the one sitting next to me, I waved off the threat and sat in the middle of the chic and the guy.<\/p>\n
We all paid the transport fare then i started paying close attention to the old man, he was very irregular, the conductor asked him about 6 times for his transport fare. The man just plainly refused to answer the conductor until the conductor moved to his side of the bus and repeated the question for another 4 times\u2026he then brought his money, safe-keeping the badly eaten chicken from his left hand to his right hand as he tried to bring out money from the chest\u00a0 pocket.<\/p>\n
Then it all became clear to me. I looked at the guy beside me and realised the reason why he chose to sit away from the old man\u2026.i just said in my mind<\/p>\n
\u201cYou crazy mofo, i see what you did there\u201d<\/p>\n
Realising that this journey will be uneasy, I couldn\u2019t help but behave gently after hearing of a friend\u2019s incident. Something similar to this. The friend was sitting in a bus with madman dressed like a gentleman reading newspaper, only that the newspaper was turned upside down.<\/p>\n
My friend tried to point it out to the madman, he didn\u2019t know he was talking to a madman, as he touched the man then told him\u00a0 that he was holding the newspaper upside down. The madman looked at him and descended on him with slaps, not just one or 2. Thunderous slaps on both cheeks, my friend narrated that after about 6 dirty slaps, the madman proceeded to lock him around the neck, fuming at him with a red eye.<\/p>\n
The thing about madmen is that their bones are always stronger than the regular person\u2019s own. No one could rescue my friend. He left him after a couple of minutes but then after the conductor called out bus-stops for people to alight, at each bus-stop the madman eyeballed my friend, the guy said he just kept praying not knowing when he burst into the tears during the rain of slaps saga.<\/p>\n
The lesson\u00a0I\u00a0learnt from this is that you should always shut up anytime you have a feeling that someone on the bus is not alright mentally. As there are no laws that demands people should carry around their mental stability document around, just be cool. I was seated coolly in between the chic and the guy, remembering the ordeal of my friend in the hand of a madman, i couldn\u2019t help but laugh silently throughout the journey as the old man would call the girl\u2019s attention to the silliest of thing e.g Why the hawker would wear slippers not trainers\u2026obscene stuffs.<\/p>\n
You would think that it\u2019s the end, the madman began to complain about how the bus was tattered in and out at many times facing the girl beside him. The girl \u00a0adjusted her position so she was facing me instead of either looking straight or looking out of the window close by.<\/p>\n
My prayer point for the evening was that the lady sitting between us wouldn\u2019t alight before i got down because i wouldn\u2019t know how to handle sitting beside a madman. Eventually, I got down at the same bus-stop as the lady. I\u2019m not sure if any other drama ensued after i left but he was gentle during the journey.<\/p>\n
He was just complaining about late 60s\u2019 to early 80s\u2019. Bitterly insulting Awolowo, Akintola and basically pre & post independence era of Nigeria. At a point, I felt like the man just came from a time travel or some other scary something. Before i end this boring epistle, listening to your mind or your spirit is very essential like the time it was raining and i sat in a very uncomfortable part of a bus. I assumed it wouldn\u2019t rain despite the heavy cloud and boy was\u00a0I\u00a0wrong.<\/p>\n
I sat at by the door of a Danfo bus that had a bad window, infact there was no window, the wind was having a field day blowing the rain into the bus.<\/p>\n
I can remember i was wearing my new USPA Polo top, it was very expensive but i wanted to impress at the meeting. The bus became a mobile shower unit for me, when i came out of the bus, i looked like i went for a swim with my clothes on. Some people felt bad for me in the bus, I was hearing sorry here and there but i didn\u2019t put my mind to it because my mind had warned me earlier on not to take that bus but i didn\u2019t listen.<\/p>\n
It then looked like that time in secondary school, after you\u2019re been flogged and then you had \u2018chested\u2019 the cane and when you get back to your seat, your friends come around to tell you sorry.<\/p>\n
For non-professional chesters, the pain is still there, just lurking behind somewhere, all you need to bring it out is just for someone to say sorry and then the tears come out following with screams here and there. If you went to my kind of secondary school then you\u2019re screwed, that\u2019s the end of your self esteem.<\/p>\n
My kind of friends will come to your desk, stay around you and start taunting you with sorry, if you cant hold it, you\u2019ll start weeping profusely and they\u2019ll all start laughing but if you can hold yourself through the sorries they\u2019re saying. You deserve an award.<\/p>\n
Apologies for boring you\u2026\u2026have a nice day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hey, welcome back. I have decided to get off my high horse of using Hi Mortals, Hello Earthlings. It\u2019s not that i am being remorseful about using it or anything. I just want something else for a change. Before I continue, I will like to give \u00a0a big shout-out to everyone who came out after […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2630,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[544,541,169,540,542,543,539],"class_list":["post-2627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","tag-comedic-post","tag-drenched-in-rain","tag-featured","tag-lagos-rain","tag-mad-man","tag-old-scrawny-elderly-man","tag-rain"],"yoast_head":"\n