“Yes baby right there, oh yes yes don’t stop, yes oh… yes… I’m gonna cum! oh I love you”
The same dream over and over again, I can’t even take a nap now without Lily making an appearance in my dream. I sighed and pushed myself out of the bed to continue drinking since it’s the only thing keeping me sane these days.
It’s been days and I still can’t shake off the mixture of anger and sadness I have been feeling since Lily stormed out of my room like the house was on fire.
I have been drinking much more than usual trying to numb the feelings but it feels worse at the end of every bottle. I was sad for whatever reason, she was so disgusted at my feelings towards her and I’m angry at myself for letting my feelings overwhelm me and move too fast.
When I took on the commission I thought combining my art style with another artist would be the hardest part of the job, not knowing the hardest will be not thinking about her beauty and her pear-shaped ass.
I would never have guessed that masking my feelings for that same artist and being stoic around her would be another hardest thing to do.
I thought about quitting but that won’t be fair to Lily and would also mean not getting to spend time with her anymore. I poured myself a glass of Bourbon, feeling disgusted at myself for drinking spirits but they get you buzzed faster than bubblies would, as I drank the horrid tasting liquid I heard the front door open.
I didn’t have to guess who it was because James announced his presence by shouting for me
“Keep it down, would you” I called out from the bar
He came around a look of surprise plastered on his face
“What are you doing here,” I asked without looking up
“Um… I used to live here” he replied
“Yeah, keyword being used to,” I said taking a sip of my drink
I heard him sigh and could almost feel him roll his eyes
“I don’t know what’s going on with you but today is the day you agreed to supervise the treating of the wall, I have been calling you all day with no response,” he said
“Ms Lily has been the only one on-site, even tried to reach you with no response” he added
I perked up when I heard him mention Lily
“She called me,” I asked looking around for my phone
“Yes,” he responded
I stood up and swayed, James tried to reach for me but I swatted his hands away
“You know what? it’s alright, I think you should sit this one out” he started
“No” I snapped back
“Wait for me in the car, I’ll just take a cold shower to sober up” I added
I walked slowly towards the stairs, cursing under my breath at the number of steps I have to climb to get to my room. A cold shower later I was feeling much more sober and steady on my feet, I threw on a plain T-shirt and shorts and headed out.
I joined James who was pressing his phone in the car.
“Look” he started
“I know the lecture you’re about to give me and you can save it, I’ll handle myself on the job,” I said, cutting him off.
He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it, he started the car and drove off. The silence in the car made the trip feel longer than usual but when we finally arrived at our destination, I got out of the car and headed into the building.
The moment I looked at the wall we were to be working on I spotted Lily, she was on a ladder smearing primer on the wall.
Her braids were packed tightly into a bun and she was wearing a paint-stained playsuit that hugged her body tightly, I couldn’t help myself as I stood there watching her work; her methods are truly admirable, never seen anyone so sexy while they’re working.
After a while I decided to stop being a creep and go supervise, I asked about the type of primer that was being used and what was done in my absence before they started to apply it.
Lily noticed my presence and waved at me smiling, I pretended not to see and I could swear I saw her face drop.
It wasn’t my intention to ignore or make her feel bad but I couldn’t let myself get friendly with her because then I won’t be able to stop my feelings from showing and pushing her even farther away.
I don’t think I can stomach the thought of the woman I’ve come to feel so deeply about being disgusted by my feelings, so it’s better if I keep our relationship professional till our work is done and I can finally move away, hopefully, the distance would heal my broken heart.
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