She continued to do the dishes after saying what she said. I stood behind her, my arms still around her and a semi-erect dick in her ass crack.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’m not even 20 yet. I’m in no rush to get married. I thought we were just having fun.”

“Yeah, we were having fun and somewhere along that line, I knew that you were perfect.” I nibbled at her right earlobe. “You are perfect.”

She giggled.” Please don’t sound like those type of guys I hate to watch in romantic movies.”

“Okay. So maybe because I don’t have a ring. I’m getting it tomorrow.”

“Even if you have one… I am not ready.”

“So when will you be ready?”

“I don’t know. Maybe when I’m done with school and NYSC and I have a job.”

“That would take forever.” I said

“Yeah, but you knew how young I was before we began to hang out. If you wanted something that would’ve led to marriage you could’ve found someone who was older and ready.”

I turned her around to face me “But I found you. And I’ve never felt this way about someone else before.”

Ugochi looked into my eyes without saying a word. She was so beautiful… Standing there, nude. Body glistening with her sweat and her sweet fragrance filling my nostrils. The thought of another guy finally having her wasn’t something I think I could bear. I had actually fallen in love with her without realizing it.

“I love you, Ugochi.” I finally said as I reached in to kiss her.

“Stop it Joe. Please. Stop it. Don’t do this. Don’t make me feel bad about this.”

I was wondering what the heck she was talking about when she stepped to the side and used the napkin to clean her hands and walked away from me and the sink.

“When I met you, I liked you because you were different. You were an older guy who didn’t behave like other older guys and you were funny and a nice guy generally. You didn’t care about love or any of that shit. So I decided to have fun with you. For as long as you wanted to, and I expected that a day would come when you’d be tired of me and find someone else and I looked forward to that day. I had already resigned myself to the fact that you were always going to find someone better than me and get rid of me. I wasn’t even going to be angry at you or anything like that since there were no feelings involved. And I would’ve been fine. You’d still have been my friend, Joe. So please… Don’t spoil what we have with your feelings for me. Let’s enjoy it until one of us gets bored and moves on.”

After saying that she walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs into the bedroom. I just stood there, confused as fuck at what she’d just said. That had to be the craziest shit I’d ever heard in my entire life.


I didn’t speak to Ugochi again after what she’d said.

How could she even be thinking such a thing? That I’d use her and dump her? I was greatly offended. I know I’d been a douchebag for most part of my adult life and I know I’d slept with more women than I probably should’ve at this stage of my life but here I was trying to be good for once. Maybe she had a point about being too young although there have been girls who married at a younger age.

I could’ve accepted that and given her time. But she went on about how I would get bored and move on? Why the fuck would she even think that? Had I said or done anything that would make her to think of such a thing? I was actually very angry, the vodka wasn’t helping. While I sat there in the sitting room , drinking and sulking, she came down the stairs, fully dressed and about to go out.

“Hey I’m heading back to school? Can you drop me at the junction?”

I didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at her.

“Ah, Jojo, you’re not talking to me? Is it because of what I said?”

I took a sip from my vodka and stared into space.

She sighed. “Anyway, I meant what I said and I’m not taking back a word from it. If you feel there’s no need to call me or talk to me anymore, I’d totally understand. I’m going back to school. I’ll come get the rest of my things later.”

She walked out and I stayed put. She had made me even angrier by not apologizing. I was suddenly so angry, tipsy and unexplainably horny at the same time. Damned vodka! I needed to pour out this vexation somewhere. I checked my wall clock. 4:56 pm. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through before dialling. She picked on the third ring.

“Somebody wake me up. I’m dreaming.”

I smiled. “How are you, Madam Funke?”

“I’ve told you not to call me that when we aren’t at the office.”

“You know it’s a habit that I can’t just drop like it’s hot.”

She laughed. That was my corniest joke ever.

“Why did you call me Joe?”

“Been a while I paid you a visit? What do you say I come over with some Chinese or your favourite from that African place?”

“What makes you think I’m home though?”

“Madam Funke is always home by 5:00pm on a Sunday afternoon.”

She laughed. “You’re just crazy.”

“So? Chinese or African?”

“My cook already prepared something. Just get a nice bottle of white wine or bourbon and we’ll have dinner together.”

“Nice. I’ll be there in seconds.”

It’s been over six months the last time I was at Funke’s house. That was before I really got serious with Kemi. She lived in a house that was built like a mansion, all by herself and not caring about what anyone thought for a lady who wasn’t married and wasn’t even planning to.

Funke still winked or licked her lips at me whenever she knew someone wasn’t looking at the office. I had no idea what she felt for me but it just refused to go away even after I told her that we should end our office romance which had later progressed to me fucking her in her sitting room. She didn’t care that I was dating her cousin. And when she found out from Kemi that we’d broken up she had even suggested hanging out with me but Ugochi was all I could think about then.

I wasn’t so sure if Ugochi and I would be coming back together but I needed to fuck that night and the quickest way it was happening was through my Madam Funke.

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